This poem was written at a time of extreme confusion in my life…
It was a time when many questions were forming in my consciousness.
Eventually I had to let go of the need to know all the answers, a good friend of mine said to me: "You're not God, you can't have all the answers". It makes me chuckle to this day!
|Photography by Dmitri Laudin|
Emotions so real, so raw
Self-realization, a double-edged sword
Duality all around me, two sides of the same coin....
Through deeply feeling our pain
Can we come to find our deepest peace?
An expanded awareness that travels from other dimensions
The longest of journeys
The material and ethereal
All must be embraced, as to know one is to know the other
I cannot escape these thoughts and feelings
So real, so raw
No matter where I go or how far I travel
Whatever I experience or with whom I meet
I cannot deny myself
My conditioning, the distortions I carry
bubble up and out of me with the fullness of my soul
Feelings of not being good enough haunt my dreams and disturb my heart by day
How to accept this world with its pain and suffering?
I sense a reality so different from this separation I feel
As if from a distant memory of another lifetime
Where there is no illusion to confuse the heart
Where we dance in completeness
As radiant as a thousand suns!
Did I arrive here too early?
Frustration surfaces with what I see and feel around me
Is this reality?
How to accept this world yet at the same time
Hold the energy for a new earth to form?
Where we live in harmony – As One
The Earth is so beautiful
I am filled with wonder at nature's awesome splendour
Yet my heart cries at its destruction
I feel the pain as my own
Invoking deep sadness and a longing within
Just a dream?
I sense restlessness within my being, impatience...
I have gathered much knowledge along this path
Now, it’s as if all I have ever learnt is exploding
Into nothingness before my eyes
I wish to follow no-one, no guru, no method, no teacher,
no dogma, no concepts
Just to stand strongly in my own deepest truth
Be my own guide
Just my own light illuminating each step on the path
Unfolding and ever changing
I wish to feel every part of myself
Raw and naked to the world
Letting go of fear
So that someday I will explode into a thousand pieces
My pain a catalyst that turns the hungry caterpillar
Into the humble butterfly
Though in this moment I cannot hold any particular form
I have no clue of who I am becoming
I have no energy to hold any particular outcome
All I am left with are feelings
No past and no future
Everything I thought I was is dissolving inside me
I can hold nothing
Who am I becoming?
What is my purpose here?
I have no response
I am nothing and everything as one
Gwen Potts: "I live in the UK. I love to read all sort of spiritual articles, poetry and especially anything written from the heart. Poetry has always been a vehicle of expression for me, so they are always written about things I am currently working through. If you resonate and would like to follow my Facebook page and my Soul Harmonic blog here, please do! It's most encouraging when people read and comment on the poems! I hope they will touch many people and let them know they are not alone in the depth of their feelings, as others are experiencing the same, somewhere out there. You may contact me through my Facebook page here."
~If you are interested in seeing your poetry appear in this blog, or submitting a poem by a woman that has inspired you, please click here for submission guidelines. I greatly look forward to hearing from you!~