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THE VASE by Krista Katrovas

I’m missing her: my cousin. She's been gone since 1987, and still I miss her...

As I walked tonight in my neighborhood, on a summer day, like those I remember playing with my cousin, catching lightning bugs, I felt a wave of loneliness.

 In the later evening, I held the vase and felt the spirit of her living on through a creation by her. It might as well be an urn. But it's comforting to have even after all these years. 


The Vase

I hold the vase you made,
cream colored with daisies
and butterflies, indentions
you carved into wet clay.
I cup it gingerly,
possibly the last thing you created,
before giving it away.
Killed in 1987, 
my best friend, cousin,
only one year younger than me,
I walk through life
missing you,
searching for my
best female friend,
yet always feeling left alone.
We wore one another’s shoes,
switching one for the other,
wearing mismatch,
feeling completed by the exchange,
knowing no matter where we were
we were walking in one another’s shoes.
Like those half golden heart charms
girls wore back then
around their necks,
with, “Best,” written on one half,
“Friend,” on the other,
completed only when together.
We exchanged
a half a pair of shoes,
because we were too poor for hearts.
Your initials, “K.G.,”
carved by maybe a pen,
or the tip of an unwound paperclip
etched on the bottom of your vase,
is the only tangible thing I have of you,
as I sit panging
within my memories of you, us.
I search through life,
for a life girlfriend
to fill this void,
while holding your empty vase,
knowing that butterflies
are soul birds
and that maybe your young heart
knew this before me somehow,
and why you left them 
and my favorite flower,
daisies, behind for me.

Krista Katrovas (E-RYT) has dedicated herself to the practice, study and teaching of yoga since discovering it in 1999 after dancing rigorously as a dance major in college. Krista has had scores of articles on Yoga, Wellness, and Spirituality published in nationally regulated magazines. She has a regular column at Elephant Journal here. She has taught Yoga in Prague every July since 2009 and has been sought to teach in Kuwait, Canada, Virginia, California, Kentucky, and Florida. She calls Kalamazoo, Michigan home, where she teaches Yoga, Meditation, offers Spiritual guidance, and practices Shamanism. She has cats, though also loves dogs, all animals. Her power animal is the Snowy Owl. Visit her yoga website here.


~If you are interested in seeing your poetry appear in this blog, or submitting a poem by a woman that has inspired you, please click here for submission guidelines. I greatly look forward to hearing from you!~  

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