This poem came as I was wondering at something my teacher had said in one of his recent lectures…
My teacher said that we shouldn't be afraid to approach the guru with all of our questions. In fact, we should come to the guru and "sit and doubt." I found this attitude so wonderful and freeing. There is so much space and humility, and room for growth in asking questions. In thinking that you have all the answers if you have read a religious book or follow a certain philosophy is very limiting and, frankly, boring.
The bhakti tradition of Caitanya has an unique theological position that claims that even God doubts himself and asks questions about the nature love and that was the inspiration behind this poem as well.
When Even God Asks Questions
I take a few deep thoughts and question this discussing philosophy and religion
If the answers we have always remain the same
Books and Opinions and Facts
and despite all the answers
all the schooling
all the Knowing
each heart, at the bottom, still a big question mark
at the core of living beings this big WHY
that keeps us moving
I wonder: Why are we so in love with the answers
when it is the questions that we secretly love
and run away with?
Even when with answers comes the safety of Sureness
we all long for the adventures that
only a good question can lead us to
In a world with too little questions
and too many answers
we have become boring
Don't you realize:
If you have the same answer to every question
there is neither any questions
nor any answers
Trust this: Reality can be questioned, it has a bend to it
the same question a million times
and everytime, you are given a new answer
the more you ask, the more you will have to wonder at
such is Reality, The Beautiful
it loves a curious heart and holds it close
It is Illusion that struggles in it's own web
so easily weaved
yet so deceitful in its knowingness
Knowledge is a living thing
Reality a person wishing to whisper his secrets
into your ear
so come near, and sit
listen and lean in closer: doubt.
If you think you can capture God
between your ears
hold the Infinite in such a tiny headspace
you will be left sitting alone with your mind
and we all know what a drag that is, most likely
you'll make yourself crazy like that
There is no measuring of the Real
it stretches itself unto Infinity
like the pastures of Vraja and Nanda's herd of cows
in the playground of Consciousness
try to swallow this and you can see the whole universe in the mouth of a child
They say after all, From the mouth of the Babes comes Truth
All this wonder is yours if you look at the Real
with eyes of love and embrace the Truth with your whole being
like a mother
A mindful of God is not enough.
Doctrination is not bliss.
The village of God is for the doubters.
The knowing of Love always a puzzle and a paradox.
Bhakti means to be always full of wonder
to always have questions about the nature of Love:
Does he love me?
Does she love me?
never knowing the fullness of love
as the Full keeps on fullfilling
and to be near the Full
is to be permanently empty:
for the joy of giving
even God, the Receiver, knows this
and in secret becomes a Giver. Ours is a god of love
who wonders: Am I really the connoisseur of Love?
And what came from this question?
From the Beloved asking questions about the Lover?
Nothing less than a big bang of consciousness.
A golden Moon rising on the horizon
of ignorance. God in search of himself
turns the whole world upside down:
the Moon in the darkness of doubt
suddenly outshines the Sun in it's brilliance
those who are looking, will be given the Light to see
In the stories of Consciousness
the teachers sing lovesongs to the Divine
and the students run barefoot away from their gurus and parents,
from the schools to the jungles of passionate love
in this play the illumined Preceptor is falling on his knees
in search of the Dark Fool of Love
instead of a Knower.
The pull of a heart
given into a Question becomes limitless and open:
So doubt and let your questions fill you up
let your search for answers
make your heart soft, quivering and questioning
soon, you'll be running barefoot into the Forest, too
a fool for Love
loving the questions
and If you're still not convinced and want to hang onto
what you know
ask yourself this:
When even God asks questions,
who can claim to have The Answer?
Tadiya dasi is a bhakti yogini who has always loved to write and read. Mostly she has read about religions, both as a student of Religious studies in university as well as a student of the Divine studying the Bhakti-scriptures such as the Bhagavad Gita and the Bhagavata Purana. She writes mostly for her own pleasure, for self-reflection and creativity. Recently, she has begun to give lectures on bhakti yoga. Her favorite place to practice bhakti yoga is in one of her teacher's ashrams, surrounded by beautiful nature and lots of cows. She, though, lives mostly in Helsinki, the capital city of Finland. Her inspiration to write and to share bhakti comes from her teacher Swami Tripurari. You can email Tadiya at firstname.lastname@example.org
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