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NOTE TO SELF by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer

 One morning, looking at a very smiling picture of myself, I realized that it was not at all how I felt at that moment…

 I was surprised, then, to find myself, really without thinking at all about the why of it, taking down all the photographs in our house, putting them in a bag, and taking them to our storage space. I am still not sure if I can say why this act felt so important, but it did. There was so much freedom in it.

It was as if I was completely honoring the present, not looking back to a previous version of myself for any hope or meaning or story.

I still haven’t put them back up. Nor have I added any new ones. 

And I laugh at myself, because I still take quite a few pictures of my family. And it gives me great pleasure, this act of capturing them as they play on the beach or dance in a recital. Ah, paradox. So for now, the only faces of my son, daughter, husband and myself to be found in our house are the ones that we wear.

Note to Self

Take the picture
from the desk
and put it
in the drawer.
It was true
to a moment
that was before,
but now as
lightning unzips
the sky and now
as the moon
is wholly new
you are no longer
the one the camera knew
with smile aslant
and lashes half-mast
in dreamy fringe.
It’s okay to cry,
to want to grasp—
it’s so human to want
to frame the past
and then attach it
to the fridge or set
it shrine-like on the shelf.
It is not so sad,
tell yourself,
to put the image away.
Notice how
much more you
look out the window.
Notice how much
more you look
at the vase.
And who is
doing the looking?
If sadness comes,
invite it for tea
and drink the dark
cup together. Take
turns sipping, take
your time. You’ll
reach the bottom
soon enough. 

Poet Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer “is a chanteuse of the heart,” says poet Art Goodtimes. She served two terms as the first poet laureate for San Miguel County, Colorado, where she still leads monthly poetry readings, teaches in schools, leads writing workshops and leaves poems written on rocks around the town. Her most recent collection, The Less I Hold, comes out of her poem-a-day practice, which she has been doing for over seven years. Her work has also appeared on A Prairie Home Companion and in O Magazine, on tie-dyed scarves, alleyway fences and in her children’s lunchboxes. Visit her website here for ideas about writing, and to read her daily poems click here. 

~If you are interested in seeing your poetry appear in this blog, or submitting a poem by a woman that has inspired you, please click here for submission guidelines. I greatly look forward to hearing from you!~ 


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