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FIRST AID by Tadiya Dasi

(Poem introduced by the editor)
During times of darkness in our lives, there is nothing more precious than one who shines the light…

"All over the world, as autumn and winter deliver darkness, many cultures celebrate Divine Light with a ritualistic lighting of fire lamps. From the flickering of Kartika and Diwali lamps, to the lighting of menorahs, this is the season to shine, for it is said that a flame shines the brightest in a dark room.

The ritualistic lighting of candles is ultimately meant to direct our attention inward to our own spiritual light source.

When our view of our own inner light becomes eclipsed, and we give up on ourselves, losing sight of our own value, there is nothing more precious than the company of one who hasn’t.  

This poem identifies such a person as our spiritual first aid: those who resuscitate us. They are the tender touch of love that comes to take us by the hand and guide us on our path, like a bright light, in spite of ourselves. The experience can be a very powerful and invigorating one, as described by Tadiya in her poem below."
First Aid
by Tadiya Dasi

There are some journeys worth taking
and starting

a million times and once more

as there are paths
with no end in sight – love is one of them, take it

There's a pull in love
you can't escape, anyway

feel the soft wind behind your back

a tender touch
of the most important
that seems to say:

I know you need
every direction home

so keep looking and asking
at every corner of the soul

knowing,
there is something

in all this life
around you
that wants to
take you by the hand and lead you to the

something
that loves us so very much

it's startling.

Nothing makes sense
but my heart knows it's been invited

somehow I know you have entered; always you are

the first in aid,
coming to my rescue

through the back door you have slided in
and I find it astonishing; how you have
loved me

How I am
and have been

held in the hands of life that
knows the way

You have taken my hand
a long time ago
and I've held on for dear life

stuck to the marrow of your powerful
heart that beats for the Alive

built my bones
around you; fragile as I am

with you
I am  somehow intact and all together

I keep growing my roots
into this fertile land
that births saints and sages;
hoping that one day

there will be flowers

for me to offer and for you to wear;
a garland of forest flowers
still wet from the morning dew

made sweet from the light of the moon
that

always,
somehow

finds me
lifts me beyond myself

until it's just
your moonlight and my empty arms

and then there's that
love letter in my sleeve, never sent

still, I'm chased by someone
who loves me
despite myself

turns out:
there's no shutting down the soul,
no drowning it,
I have tried
for
when the soul
makes her appearance

there's not even a question
of trying to be perfect

just letting the perfect, be Perfect.

On this road to the pasture,
there are a thousand feet
jumping for joy, for him

I let them trample my need
for perfection and go

no distortion there, just dancing feet
on their way

as something light as air flutters around my skin,
a joy so subtle

it needs safekeeping. A hope so strong
I place my feet firmly on it and go

It's a relief of the soul, to come to love

and it's in that sigh of the soul,
that you rekindle your faith
and breathe life into your own soul

this is spiritual first aid:

to get to that place where you know
you can return, even when you are tired and lost

like a road weary pilgrim
you find that one path you can still take and

make that return
to the something soft and tender

that receives you like your first love: headfirst and diving deep.

Return often. Let your feet bleed from returning.

Make the same journey a thousand times, if need be.
If nothing else, the circles get deeper.

Learn this again and again:
there's  showering mercy in not knowing where you're going

no shame in coming to yourself
sometimes lost, sometimes found

for something of you returns transformed,
everytime you make that journey
to love.

See me,
my starlit eyes that keep looking,
toward the sky

my heart
that keeps slipping out and
embarassing itself

in it's need for you

see how I hope to catch it, the love of you,
like a shooting star;

my prospect for it now like a fanciful wish

but there is some light
that never goes out

and I look for it everytime I see
a star crossing the sky

I see it reflected in my own
hope-lit eyes

while that moonlight of your love
shines ever and more in the dark

reflecting a kindness
I've swam towards for lifetimes

even when there was no direction home
and still

always, somehow: I am met half-way

and had I known
that I am so close

to being held by life's loving and unexpected arms

I would have let this go
long ago and let myself fall

as in falling

there is that lap soft as clouds you never knew you'd fall into
until, suddenly
it is there,

an unexpected grace
that makes you drop whatever you held onto

for what's holding you now is so much bigger

and you let go,
hold your arms up in the air

say: take my hands
both of them

take me by the hand
call me with your buffalo horn,
awaken me

my star of Rohini

call me to your herd
let me pick fruits in the forest with you
teach me the name of every one of your cows

like a big brother,
protect me, teach me
guide me

underneath this soft moon of yours,
I can feel my feet lifting

and in that leap, I see
a thousand feet jumping for joy, for him

and
I am a puddle at your feet
so small
but called for:

you move in me like undercurrents;
my sorrow receding like the tide

I have no other word for this but
mercy

it is such a relief:
there is someone there, on this foreign land

to receive you
to revive you

spiritual first aid

a kindness that makes

your worst mistakes seem
like innocent accidents and you are forgiven

just like that

and in that freedom you walk
hand in hand
with your rescuer

a heart full of thanks
and an array of
love letters in your sleeve

that keep slipping out

while
you keep wanting to recite them
to anyone and everyone

and you think, again and again:
how you were saved from yourself

keep thanking the ones
that came,
first in aid. First in love.
~



Tadiya Dasi: "My poems are the outpourings of my heart. My inspiration comes from seeking the heart of yoga through bhakti. In poems, and in life, I seek to embrace the questions and live the answers of my heartfelt truth to the highest degree of surrender possible. I search for that truth through heart-centered, meditative, yoga practice." You may connect with Tadiya on facebook here, or via e-mail Tadiyadasi@yahoo.com.






~If you are interested in seeing your poetry appear in this blog, or submitting a poem by a woman that has inspired you, please click here for submission guidelines. I greatly look forward to hearing from you!~ 

Comments

  1. Oh my! Tadiya this was just amazing, it touched me to tears. What a mystery this human experience really is, an exploration of the relationship with our divine beloved.
    "even when there was no direction home
    and still
    always, somehow: I am met half-way
    and had I known
    that I am so close
    to being held by life's loving and unexpected arms
    I would have let this go
    long ago and let myself fall
    as in falling
    there is that lap soft as clouds you never knew you'd fall into
    until, suddenly
    it is there,
    an unexpected grace
    that makes you drop whatever you held onto
    for what's holding you now is so much bigger"

    Sometimes behind all fear, self doubt and sense of being totally lost.. it all changes when I experience how we don't even know how much we are loved, that there is a lover calling out for us to answer. And the feeling that actually this is foreign land, so we don't even need to struggle in order to fit in here. :) It's so liberating, and the way you describe it as total surrender, letting go to become, held by that force which is higher.
    I can so much relate to all this, yet you put it into words in so vividly! Please keep sharing your gift and love letters! Radhe Shyama!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Subhadra! Thank YOU for taking the time to read my poem and then to write such a sweet note to me in return...it means the world to me. :) Radhe Shyama!

      Delete

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