These words are about opening to love…
Love is energy. It has taken me a long time to understand this. My whole life I sought to know love, but could only perceive it -or what I thought it was, through the lens of the mind. Two years ago, I left a 13-year relationship and started a journey deeper into myself than I have ever gone. During that time I shed a lot of pain, had some beautiful breakthroughs and, through meditation and drumming, learned a lot about the energy of love without the mind filter and all of its many stories. This was a beautiful thing, but only a beginning.
Still, there were walls. I began dating, and I was seeing these walls reflected in the men I dated, as I believe we attract people who mirror us in some way or show us something we need to learn. I was at the end of one such connection and in immense pain. I felt defeated. I knew I was supposed to learn though, so I delved deeper inward and continued to break down barriers that were connected to childhood grief and loss.
I began to see how I had abandoned myself all of those years, and started remembering the essence of love I am at my core without those stories. During this time, I had become friends with a man. Because there were no romantic complications getting in the way, it was easy to share openly and honestly with him. Messages turned into phone calls, and pretty soon we were revealing our deepest darkest secrets and fears to each other. As time went by, I couldn’t imagine going a day without checking in with him. Then I realized I felt a connection that was deeper than friendship. It turned out that he mirrored those same feelings and our relationship grew from that place.
Now comes in love as energy. His mirror provided for me a reflection of the love I had worked so hard to build for myself, as well as those darker aspects that I still clung to- those old stories that told me love was supposed to look a particular way which usually involved abandonment of some kind. But because the love of self was there enough to be able to see more clearly, the energy of his love for me showed me something I had never seen in a man previously.
I began to see and feel him in love, his energy. This has nothing to do with his exterior: it is a vibration. I began to see it in his eyes, his aura, and hear it in his voice when he spoke regardless of the words being said. Then I felt the space between his words: which literally took me out of myself and connected me with that great mysterious universal energy of love in its purest form. This poem was inspired by these experiences.
Opening To Love
I love the space between your words
drenched in blue stars
hidden in pockets of ecstasy.
I love the waves that vibrate behind your voice
when you quietly say
“ I love you,”
pulling my ear in closer.
The spring ushers the phase of light
beneath which, rivers begin to flow,
warms the ice,
trickles between crevices
down the long steep run.
I have waited.
Long have I watched for the rush,
sought it in dammed up pools.
Unable to move
stopped by walls.
It wasn’t until I walked beside your stream
that I heard you,
felt your mist caress me.
I stepped into the flow
and in a cascade of timelessness
your resonance shivered my roots.
Soaked in your love
I now stand,
a tender shoot
wrapped in my softened husk
ecstatically awaiting for you to peel me open.
Elizabeth Muccigrosso: I live in Gresham, Oregon. I am a single mother of two beautiful sons: Logan, 13 and Elias, 7. I am currently a student majoring in Liberal Studies, working towards my Masters in Social Work or some other undetermined healing modality. I hope to utilize my life experiences and spiritual growth to make a career out of helping others who have had similar struggles.
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