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THIS IS MY TRUTH by Shannon K. Lockhart

 I have spent far too many years in my life hiding my love…

I am an introvert, but I was also abused, and these two things made me distrust and also hide my feelings. My early experiences of love taught me that love was difficult and wrong and painful.

It has been through my experience as a mother of two very sensitive souls, both intuitive boys, that I have been able to open up more and understand that love takes many forms and that it is necessary to embrace oneself.

This discovery was reinforced to me through my experience living in an indigenous community in Guatemala, where love is shown so freely and concretely. I am slowly learning that all love is a gift that needs to be shared.

"this is my truth"
by Shannon K. Lockhart

this is my truth
and my secret-
i fall in love

passionately,

with both
men and 
women

in fact, i am in love 
with many people

and i know how
that sounds,
because
i used to be terrified and
confused
by how
that sounds...

but i get it now,
this is simply
who i am

it is really my best quality,
strength
grown out of 
my longing for
deep intimacy
and vulnerability

it has also been my 
my greatest secret-
i used to worry
about judgement
about implications
about labels
i used to think that 
i was only allowed
to love one person

my love is sometimes
a wild and 
sexual raucous 
and sometimes
it is quiet
poetry

it is the smell
of incense burning,
the mesmerizing,
swirling trail
of smoke 
that cleanses me
as i watch it dance
towards the sky

the feel of a twirly
dress while dancing 
in the pale light of 
a summer moon

it is the scent of 
amniotic fluid
on a fuzzy,
damp little head

and sometimes
it is so simple-
so obvious,
the heart-soaring
deep  
echo of souls
resonating
with each other,
the quiet
truth
inside
that pulls out
my heart 
and offers it 
without thinking 
twice,
risking everything

i have now realized
that my confusion
stems from
the discovery
that the right words
don't exist

to describe 
how my love
bursts forth

i am bound up in
a culture
with 
no framework
to ground my feelings,
just those labels
those questioning 
accusations
those planted doubts

i have decided
to ignore the labels
and reject
the fear that comes with
not having 
the language
i need
to invite someone 
inside my world

for now, 
i just want to 
giggle and snuggle
and hold onto the
taste of new love,
any new love,
all new love...
just a little longer

until the wild sparks
can
settle into
white hot ash
to sustain me

Shannon K. Lockhart is a social worker, human rights activist, and teacher who has recently embarked on her newest journey as an artist and poet. She is a native Louisvillian, but has spent most of her adult life living in Chicago and Central America. Shannon spent 12 years working with indigenous communities, genocide survivors, and other human rights activists in Guatemala before returning to the U.S. with her family. Her greatest source of pride is her family, and she works hard to be a mother who imparts joy, gratitude, and respect for the unexpected bumps along the road. Shannon has published her poetry online with Rebelle Society and in DoveTales, a print journal published by the group, Writing for Peace. She can frequently be found drumming in parks with her family, drawing, or reading her poetry at the Urban Goatwalker Coffeehouse in the Phoenix Hill neighborhood.

~If you are interested in seeing your poetry appear in this blog, or submitting a poem by a woman that has inspired you, please click here for submission guidelines. I greatly look forward to hearing from you!~


Comments

  1. This is an absolute celebration of who you are distilled in the impeccable crafting of your love for poetry. Thank you for sharing this and for coming so far as to love so deeply, all things, including yourself.

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