Skip to main content

THOUGHTS OF A HURTING HEART by Camellia Stadts

(Editors note: This is National Suicide Prevention Week. The poems we feature this week are meant to contribute to raising awareness toward this cause. All are welcome to participate)

My life, lived with depression and thoughts of suicide, has not been easy...

This darkness has been with me for as long as I can remember. At 60 years old, as I look back and think to myself, "why am I still here?" What strength was inside me to daily fight this demon? All I know is that first off I have always had an awareness of God in my life which has given me strength and faith to continue when I felt like giving up.

Second, I began journal writing which released all those dark thoughts and feelings which had been bottled up inside. Third, finding the strength (through prayer and journal writing) to seek counseling and to start taking an anti-depression medication. 

I have written this poem for National Suicide Prevention Week in honor of my struggle, and all those who fight to stay alive.

Thoughts of a Hurting Heart
by Camellia Stadts

Thoughts of death grow
more welcoming every day.

The things that are in my mind
and the numbness in my body
are easy to keep to myself.

My whole being is shrouded in a dark cloud
both inside and out. 

The loneliness is
unbearable. 

I spend my days and nights
deciding on how to end my life.

There are so many choices. So many
ways to “end it all”. Those three words
are so comforting to me. 
Morbid? No…
They are welcoming.

There are moments when
I want to scream 
or reach out and hold someone…
but I don’t.  

Or better yet, gather rage that I don’t even realize is there
and just slap a smiling face HARD!

Will I end it today? 
Or tomorrow? 

Why wait? 
Release the pain now….


Camellia Stadts: “I have recently moved to Ferndale, MI and I am 60 years old.I have a B.A. in English from Marygrove College in Detroit. I have 2 grown children, my son Nick and daughter Carolyn and I also have a 8 year-old grandson, Cameren. Besides writing, reading and nature I also have a passion for knitting and crocheting.”








~If you are interested in seeing your poetry appear in this blog, or submitting a poem by a woman that has inspired you, please click here for submission guidelines. I greatly look forward to hearing from you!~ 
                  

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

IMAGINE A WOMAN by Patricia Lynn Reilly

This poem invites you to look upon yourself with loving kindness…
Gazing at your own true reflection, you will discover that everything you have longed for “out there” is already within you! I invite you to love your creativity fiercely. Faithfully plant seeds, allowing under-the-ground dormant seasons, nurturing your creative garden with love and gratitude. In the fullness of time, the green growing things thrust forth from the ground. It's a faithful, trustworthy process. AND it takes time and patience.  Blessed is the fruit of your creative womb! I invite you to trust your vision of the world and express it. With wonder and delight, paint a picture, create a dance, write a book, and make up a song. To give expression to your creative impulses is as natural as your breathing. Create in your own language, imagery, and movement. Follow no script. Do not be limited by the customary way things have been expressed. Your creative intuition is original. Gather all of life into your inner c…

DEPRESSION by Veronica Carpenter

Depression
Here goes my vulnerability A heart on a sleeve The typical person who looks at me May not see the same me that I live with daily The mind in the air, swirling with possibility When the darkness rallies/gathers/swirls When I am left to solitude This paper-thin garb unzips Here comes depression          
No I don’t want to advertise So flash a smile Those who are close get to see Through the veil, it’s really not that thick Circumstances in life like to stab at the rib Stumble, fall behind the door Shut out the world Feelings well and weigh down Strength hidden deep in the core So deep that sometimes it’s forgotten Here comes the darkness My old friend Sweeping through my every move  Doubts, fears, un-named masked men Oozing like honey, sticking to everything
Patience is required to get on this ride There is a cycle but its pattern is unknown Slowly my gift will unwrap itself Stay on the path Coming back to that which never truly left me Just laid sleeping out of exhaustion from the fight Dormant in winter…

HER SKIN by Sophie Gregoire

This poem is about Sacred Relationships…
This poem was written for the lovers that dive deeper through sexuality, and savor it for what it is—which is the ultimate union, the climax of love between two people. Sexual intimacy is not what our times have made it be. Intimate touch is sacred, sex is enlightening. Sexual intimacy ignites eternal sparks in the hearts of both partners; sacred touch is a lot more than a short moment of fleeting pleasure. Sex can lead to the awakening and to the fusion of both souls. Sexual union can open doors in both bodies, that nothing—no time and no space could close. Sex is magic, when it gathers two hearts that have, and had always been, made for one another.

Her Skin by Sophie Gregoire
Touch her, Like She is The first skin.
Kiss her  Like  It was always  About You and Her, Like  She is everything Compared to Every other  Lips.
Hold her waist Like  She is, The treasure The gem  The velvet You've been Dreaming of  Waiting for, Longing.
Kiss her Like, You always knew.
Kiss her  Lik…