Skip to main content

TUG OF WAR by Victoria Lantz


As a mystic, I long for union with the Divine…

This longing manifests a firestorm of emotion within me that I’ve discovered can be integrated through writing poetry. All of my poems reflect an attempt to describe a feeling I’ve experienced. My process begins by surrendering to the emotion without trying to identify it. While meditating on the feeling, a vision is placed on my heart that I’m compelled to immediately bring to life. The poem is faithfully revealed in its entirety, becoming part of me as it unfolds. 

This poem was written after my move from Illinois to Florida. During a return visit to Illinois, my heart begged me to move back home. Unfortunately, the “home" I yearned for no longer existed. What resulted was a season of tension, feeling lost and confused, but also sensing that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. With my experience of the Divine always being relational, it doesn’t surprise me that the vision this prose reveals is one of connection. Perhaps an unconventional connection, but connection nonetheless.


Tug of War
by Victoria Lantz

You pulled me aside at the dinner party, leading me to an empty corner of the living room. To the sound of clinking wine glasses, you plunged your right hand into my chest, grabbing the left side of my heart. Your thumb curled around the atrium, while your remaining fingers clasped the ventricle. In the squeezing, I felt your love for me and waited for your other hand to enter my chest. When your left hand encircled the right side of my heart, my eyes widened at the sensation, but started to water when you began pulling your hands apart. First uncomfortable, then excruciating, I looked for an explanation in your eyes, but found none. Laughter exploded from the dining room when I felt my heart beginning to rip in half, a small fissure in the septum, expanding vertically. Closing my eyes, I prayed for the severing to stop and with that you removed your hands from my chest, picking up your wine glass resting on the fireplace mantle. I hesitantly surrendered to your hand on my shoulder returning me to the party, but I could still feel the tug of war going on inside my heart. I guess you intended to leave me that way.

(This poem originally appeared in Victoria's newly released book Longing, found here


Victoria Lantz is a creative with a desperate need to bring things to life. All of her work reflects this. Whether through storytelling, art, or gatherings, she has discovered one of her connections to the Divine is found within the creative process. She is the author of God Is: An Accidental Mystic Discovers the Nature of GodLonging: Poems from a Mystic Heart, and Union: Mystic Musings and Stories. She also hosts the God Is Podcast available on iTunes and the You Have Been Invited Meditation Series available on Insight Timer. Additionally, she helps others embrace their spiritual journeys through her Let’s Get Real! gatherings and in one-on-one listening sessions. Currently living on Sanibel Island off the coast of southwest Florida, Victoria can typically be found strolling the beach or playing the ukulele. Visit her website at VictoriaLantz.com.

~If you are interested in seeing your poetry appear in this blog, or submitting a poem by a woman that has inspired you, please click here for submission guidelines. I greatly look forward to hearing from you!~

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I AM STILL HERE by Janavi Held

EDITOR'S NOTE:

This was composed by a very gifted and beautiful soul: a regular contributor to our poetry project, and dear friend of mine, Janavi Held, whose life is gradually being taken from us by an incurable illness. She has been suffering from Complex Regional Pain Syndrome and Internal Adhesions for six painful years now, and neither her insurance nor the government healthcare will help her. She reaches out to us, her sisters, as a last plea. This is a poem she wrote yesterday on her birthday, in which she offers us the gift of her friendship. May it touch your generous hearts and inspire you to reach out to her in her plight.


Dear Friends,

The last time I was able to leave the house was by ambulance on my way to the hospital. After many long hours in the emergency room I was admitted and taken upstairs. After everyone left I sat on the hospital bed, knees to chest, bracing my body against the pain and trembling.

The light of this cold day was fading. I turned my eyes to the la…

IMAGINE A WOMAN by Patricia Lynn Reilly

This poem invites you to look upon yourself with loving kindness…
Gazing at your own true reflection, you will discover that everything you have longed for “out there” is already within you! I invite you to love your creativity fiercely. Faithfully plant seeds, allowing under-the-ground dormant seasons, nurturing your creative garden with love and gratitude. In the fullness of time, the green growing things thrust forth from the ground. It's a faithful, trustworthy process. AND it takes time and patience.  Blessed is the fruit of your creative womb! I invite you to trust your vision of the world and express it. With wonder and delight, paint a picture, create a dance, write a book, and make up a song. To give expression to your creative impulses is as natural as your breathing. Create in your own language, imagery, and movement. Follow no script. Do not be limited by the customary way things have been expressed. Your creative intuition is original. Gather all of life into your inner c…

DEPRESSION by Veronica Carpenter

Depression
Here goes my vulnerability A heart on a sleeve The typical person who looks at me May not see the same me that I live with daily The mind in the air, swirling with possibility When the darkness rallies/gathers/swirls When I am left to solitude This paper-thin garb unzips Here comes depression          
No I don’t want to advertise So flash a smile Those who are close get to see Through the veil, it’s really not that thick Circumstances in life like to stab at the rib Stumble, fall behind the door Shut out the world Feelings well and weigh down Strength hidden deep in the core So deep that sometimes it’s forgotten Here comes the darkness My old friend Sweeping through my every move  Doubts, fears, un-named masked men Oozing like honey, sticking to everything
Patience is required to get on this ride There is a cycle but its pattern is unknown Slowly my gift will unwrap itself Stay on the path Coming back to that which never truly left me Just laid sleeping out of exhaustion from the fight Dormant in winter…