As a mystic, I long for union with the Divine…
This longing manifests a firestorm of emotion within me that I’ve discovered can be integrated through writing poetry. All of my poems reflect an attempt to describe a feeling I’ve experienced. My process begins by surrendering to the emotion without trying to identify it. While meditating on the feeling, a vision is placed on my heart that I’m compelled to immediately bring to life. The poem is faithfully revealed in its entirety, becoming part of me as it unfolds.
This poem was written after my move from Illinois to Florida. During a return visit to Illinois, my heart begged me to move back home. Unfortunately, the “home" I yearned for no longer existed. What resulted was a season of tension, feeling lost and confused, but also sensing that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. With my experience of the Divine always being relational, it doesn’t surprise me that the vision this prose reveals is one of connection. Perhaps an unconventional connection, but connection nonetheless.
Tug of War
by Victoria Lantz
You pulled me aside at the dinner party, leading me to an empty corner of the living room. To the sound of clinking wine glasses, you plunged your right hand into my chest, grabbing the left side of my heart. Your thumb curled around the atrium, while your remaining fingers clasped the ventricle. In the squeezing, I felt your love for me and waited for your other hand to enter my chest. When your left hand encircled the right side of my heart, my eyes widened at the sensation, but started to water when you began pulling your hands apart. First uncomfortable, then excruciating, I looked for an explanation in your eyes, but found none. Laughter exploded from the dining room when I felt my heart beginning to rip in half, a small fissure in the septum, expanding vertically. Closing my eyes, I prayed for the severing to stop and with that you removed your hands from my chest, picking up your wine glass resting on the fireplace mantle. I hesitantly surrendered to your hand on my shoulder returning me to the party, but I could still feel the tug of war going on inside my heart. I guess you intended to leave me that way.
(This poem originally appeared in Victoria's newly released book Longing, found here)
Victoria Lantz is a creative with a desperate need to bring things to life. All of her work reflects this. Whether through storytelling, art, or gatherings, she has discovered one of her connections to the Divine is found within the creative process. She is the author of God Is: An Accidental Mystic Discovers the Nature of God, Longing: Poems from a Mystic Heart, and Union: Mystic Musings and Stories. She also hosts the God Is Podcast available on iTunes and the You Have Been Invited Meditation Series available on Insight Timer. Additionally, she helps others embrace their spiritual journeys through her Let’s Get Real! gatherings and in one-on-one listening sessions. Currently living on Sanibel Island off the coast of southwest Florida, Victoria can typically be found strolling the beach or playing the ukulele. Visit her website at VictoriaLantz.com.
~If you are interested in seeing your poetry appear in this blog, or submitting a poem by a woman that has inspired you, please click here for submission guidelines. I greatly look forward to hearing from you!~