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I CAN NOT by Ruth Calder Murphy


 I can only be me. This was one of the simplest and yet most profound epiphanies of my life. 

The dawning upon me that the pressure is off. Not because I won’t be, believe, speak, think as other people suggest, require, demand or preach - but because I cannot be anything but myself - and myself is the best thing, the best person, I can be. 

There was and is something Divine in this realization - that I was made to be me and am fully loved - as Me! In letting go of other people’s hopes, dreams and expectations of and for me, and thereby letting go of worrying about pleasing them all, all the time, I am free to be fully myself and to realize the Divinity within me...

Funnily and wonderfully enough, I please just as many people in simply being me as I ever did by trying to please everyone... And I’ve also discovered how wonderful it is to be accepted and loved for who I really am.
'Pink Dawn' painting  by Regina Argetin
I Can Not

I cannot be
anything
-or anyone -
but me.
I cannot do
simply
because
I’m expected to.
I cannot believe
because you believe
or because
I used to believe
or because it would
bring ease
or make the bullies leave
me alone.
I cannot speak
just to please;
I can not speak lies
though the truth
may cause unease
and surprise.
I cannot live
your chosen life
or prepare for your
prefered death;
I cannot dance your dance
- though it be beautiful -
or sing your song
-though it be wonderful -
I cannot walk your path -
even when it takes you
away from me,
even when we disagree,
even if I lose you completely...
I cannot dream your dreams;
my dreams are enough for me.
I can only be
the best me I can be
and true...
and you be the best you
and, if we do,
our different dances
will make choreography,
our paths
cartography,
our "Can Not"
will become “Will Be”
and then,
then,
we shall be free.
'Self Portrait' by the author Ruth Calder Murphy


Ruth Calder Murphy is a writer, artist, music teacher, wife and mother living in London, UK. Her life is wonderfully full of creativity and low-level chaos. She is the author of one published novel, “The Scream,” several books of poetry and one or two as-yet unpublished novels. She is passionate about celebrating the uniqueness of people, questioning the unquestionable and discovering new perspectives on old wonders. She is learning to ride the waves that come along—peaks and troughs—and is waking up to just how wonderful life really is. You can visit Ruth and view more of her art on her website here, or on her Facebook page. Her latest book is available on Amazon here, and here. Or read more of her poetry on her writing site here


~If you are interested in seeing your poetry appear in this blog, or submitting a poem by a woman that has inspired you, please click here for submission guidelines. I greatly look forward to hearing from you!~  

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