After my father took his life five years ago, I was completely devastated and broken…
I cried rivers of tears until my eyes were so swollen that I could barely open them. For a few days following his death I hallucinated that birds were flying around in my house---and I was not on drugs.
After the initial shock wore off a bit, I went through all the stages of grief again and again. I think I will always be going through grief in smaller ways throughout my life.
At some point, about 3 ½ years later, when I could think once again about the good memories of my dad, this poem just flowed out of me on Christmas Eve. Usually holidays are the hardest times without my father, but I believe I became more grateful for him after his death than before.
The poem is not about my father’s death, but instead, celebrates the bond of love that we had and still have to this day. I know that he will always be alive inside of my heart.
We have all come of age, loved and lost and had people who heavily influenced us in unimaginably wondrous ways through acts of incredible caring and kindness. My father is still teaching me these lessons of life in tender ways. This one’s for you Dad.
|Pictured are the author and her father|
Lazy Daisy Days with You
Fields of daisy chains you made me, I will not soon forget
You and I on flower filled lawns, sharing our tête à têtes
In my hair, round my neck and wrists you placed delicate leis
Treasures only for me, Bloom by Bloom, Day by Day
Adorning your daughter, Year by Year
After my birth, your love never veered
Tiny white flowers: our secret watch keeping by time by the seasons
My love flourished for you, for so many reasons
Day by Day not a worry, lazy in meadows, daisies abounded
Petal-graced breezes passed swiftly by, no warning bell sounded
Yet soon I grew older; life moving along
Many tears were shed when I left, but my heart was strong
All those gifts made from love and the time that you gave me
Bloomed deep inside my heart as a field of daisies
Year by Year, you filled me with incredible strength
Now prepared for my life, to face it at length
Daisy chains never bound me, but instead set me free
Woven in flower leis, so precious, was your present to me
Like a beautiful flower’s end, sadly you faded
All sunny days were at once darkly shaded
My heart left so, so heavy
Deluges of tears poured over thick eyelash levees
Daisy chains can’t be frozen in time, I dismay
Left with nothing in hand to hold what I was given those days
Every flower you strung has wilted, alas
But loving lessons endure; throughout time they shall last
Now every summer, more gifts are revealed
Through your sweetest whispers within daisy fields
Hushed words understood, Bloom by Bloom, Day by Day
Now, once again, I am making my way
Again keeping time with flowers, as you lovingly taught
Holding close what once was ours, touching every thought
Hearts ever entwined by daisy chains that empower
Still your love flowers inside of me, Hour by Hour
Love Always and Forever,
Your Daughter Laura Hornby Kutney
|Photograph: "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Colorrrs|
loves to laugh until her face and stomach hurt, and to sing really loudly. If you opened her toy box, you would find books, words, art, photos and a world of feelings. She can ponder a word for a day, or write a story in an hour. She has a photographic memory but is also dyslexic. Yep, the two coexist inside of her just like a little universal joke. Originally a chemical engineer, she is now a mother to her three children (12, 15 and 17) and writes everyday, writing mainly poetry and short stories. She has been married to her true love for 18 years and counting. Life is good and ever-changing. She counts on the second part of that last sentence sometimes hourly. She can be found as a featured author for the elephant journal, on her , and on .
~If you are interested in seeing your poetry appear in this blog, or submitting a poem by a woman that has inspired you, please click here for submission guidelines. I greatly look forward to hearing from you!~