I'D RATHER NOT by Maru Garcia

I require time and space to digest the teachings of life lessons…

 I am a slow processor. For my heart, a period of retreat and introspection is a must before I am able to expose myself in full again and be of genuine service to others.

Losses are steps to enlighten our mind and they cannot be avoided, nor can the steps. Life is a journey and so is love. Healing is my process. In the meantime trust is on pause. This poem reflects that pause.

Photography by Shantosh

I’d Rather Not

Let’s have one last of each,

One last moonlight walk,

One last coffee at our Italian spot,

One last laugh at goofy stuff,

One last spinach treat,

One last silent hug,

One last of each and then let’s say good bye

Lets part like friends…

How do I forget the story?

How do I murder the memory?

How do I cheat my heart that the truth is a lie?

How do I bribe time? 

I try each day to forgive myself for still thinking of him

And to forgive him for his unintentional hurting ways

I pray that before long, I will forgive us both

I am half way through, I kind-a know

I only need to rest.  It will all pass.

I stop asking why and the pain breaks.

I arrest the thinking and the fear dismays.

Suddenly I am grateful for the best of times.

And for the sorrow, for the learning, for it all.

It is only a hazy view; I tell myself. 

The sun will soon shine thru

I know it is all correct.  It was all worth it.

Would I do it all over again?  This thing called love? 

No, I think I’d rather not. 

Photography by Vampire Zombie at Deviant Art

Maru Garcia was born and raised in Mexico City. As a kid, she wanted to be invisible when she grew up or work for the circus as a contortionist so she could fit silently in little boxes. She has a degree in Nutrition and believes in veganism as a walking statement of love. She is a very imperfect yogi. Maru loves animals more than anything in the whole wide world, and is a strong advocate for the animals right to just be animals! There is often a doggie or a kitty or a palm tree hidden in her purse on the way to safety. She often gets in trouble for saying exactly what she thinks and feels, no editing, that is her trademark. Maru lives in Playa del Carmen with her 3 dogs, 2 birds and one cat. She does not know yet why she writes. You may contact her on facebook here. 

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