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NIRVANA by Jenn Lui

My conversation with the infinite…

…discouraged and broken hearted, I was renewed. Coming upon the face of my soulmate, hope restored I move forward not alone.   
"A Beautiful Smothering" Fine Art Photography by Heather Evans Smith

by Jen Lui

And I screamed into the void, raging with my fists in the air “WHY!”
“Why the pain, why the hurt, I can’t bear it any longer” 
as tears streamed down my face,
Forming an ocean at my feet, threatening to swallow the entire world whole,
My sorrows drowned out the deafening chaos and opened up the darkness above.

Eternity looked down upon me and laughed,
“But my dear, do you not also feel joy, excitement… contentment?”
“Have you not felt love, engulfed in passion which consumed your entire being?”
I paused for a moment looking down, choking on disappointment…

Eternity continued “My love, you cannot know one without the other”
As I fell to my knees, a breeze caressed my damp face,
“But it’s too hard” I said as I looked up, cheeks flushed “it’s too much”
Stillness fell heavily around me, as Eternity patiently waited.

“My heart cannot bear another break, I will crumble to pieces”
My weaknesses, vulnerabilities and imperfections poured out of me,
Spilling out into the cold of night exposed to the bitterness of complete emptiness,
Feeling naked and bare, I wrapped my arms around myself.

Eternity smiled as the stars began to slowly illuminate the vastness,
“You are strong enough my breath, and you will love again”
I exhaled and collapsed completely; a desperate sigh escaped my lips,
“This is why you are here” Eternity reminded me “to feel, to love”.

I shivered and placed my hand over my heart, shielding it once again,
“I am afraid” I mumbled under my breath, looking away ashamed,
The stars shone brilliantly lighting up the sky and Eternity replied:
“Put your heart on the line my dear, risk everything for the rewards are great”

“Give yourself completely and feel my love through another”
“Trust” Eternity whispered to me, “trust and open up”
“There will never be a task I ask of you that you cannot handle my love”
“Trust” the wind whispered in return, the sound floating through the air around me.

On the ground broken, my face against the cold earth,
I felt your hand on my shoulder beckoning me to my feet,
I looked into your eyes and reconnected with the thousand lives we have shared before,
Gently and quietly you said “I know you, my nirvana, and you know me”.

Wiping the tears from my cheeks, you held me in your arms,
Mending my disappointed heart you breathed life into my existence,
“We shall spend the rest of our days together, in this lifetime”,
“And then I will find you once more in the next”.

The sun began to rise and the darkness lifted completely,
We made a promise to heal our bruised and broken hearts,
To jump head first into the limitless possibilities love has to offer,
Eternity looked on and gently nodded, a new day was once again unfolding.
Fine Art Photography by Todd and Sarah Sisson, New Zealand

Jenn Lui hails from a far and distant land impervious to the mundane and the conventional. Her eclectic interests always begin with an overwhelming curiosity, which catapults her into fanatical investigations and explorations. A lover of all creative mediums, she focuses most of her time on writing, painting/mixed media, yoga, meditation and picture taking. Jenn holds BAs in Psychology and Comparative Religion. She continuously thrives on furthering her understanding of the mind-body-spirit connection. With a penchant for all things beautifully extraordinary, Jenn recognizes the importance of honoring her shadow self, which in turn, creates a healthy respect for what lingers in its dark corners. Shamelessly wearing her heart on her sleeve, Jenn can typically be found with a book in hand, mala around her neck, and skipping to the beat of her own drum. Connect with Jenn on her blog'Perils of The Living', Facebook and Twitter.

~If you are interested in seeing your poetry appear in this blog, or submitting a poem by a woman that has inspired you, please click here for submission guidelines. I greatly look forward to hearing from you!~


  1. This has always been a most fascinating subject for me: the role of our shadow self in furthering our relationship with the infinite and eternal. it is not a popular subject, as it makes many uncomfortable, but your presentation of it here, in this poem is so approachable. And I think it is a conversation many of us can relate to. If I had to pick one, this line would be my favorite:

    [“You are strong enough my breath, and you will love again”I exhaled and collapsed completely; a desperate sigh escaped my lips, “This is why you are here” Eternity reminded me “to feel, to love”]

    yes, we are here to feel and to love, but -as you point out- that also comes with aches. As you write: "You cannot feel one without the other". Thank you for this poetic offering, dear Jenn, and I look forward to sharing more of your poems!

    1. And thank you so much for the opportunity to share my offering. Encouraging others to develop a relationship with their shadow self, embracing it for our healing, has really become a focus in my life's work. It is certainly uncomfortable but can open us up to a much more profound understanding of ourselves. Making room for the beauty that life has to offer.

      I look forward to sharing more here in the future!

      Much love!

  2. This shatters my heart center wide open. Other than that, words fail miserably to convey how powerful I find this. Thank you Jenn.

    1. Chris, I am so very humbled by your comment. Thank you for giving my words the opportunity to touch you. This poem holds a very special place in my heart and i feel grateful to be able to share it. Much love.


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