For
longer than I can remember sleep, real life-giving sleep, has been elusive in
my life…
I have been plagued by a series of nightmares, night terrors
and other equally disturbing nighttime problems since I was a little girl. In
the last year or two I have begun to link this to early childhood trauma and a
part of what I have now acknowledged to be post traumatic stress disorder.
As I have been working through the
process of recovering memories; processing the abuse, the loss and the
health implications, and using everything I have in discovering my true self,
a good night's sleep has been an increasingly rare occurrence. This is in spite
of my practices of meditation, keeping mindful and breathing through this
painful process.
Often, as I battle and try to reconcile
myself with my sleepless nights, I write. Writing has become like breathing for
me as I attempt to find, accept and express my story...my truth.
These words came to me at 5am on a
dark, windy winter's morning after some intense weeks of flashbacks and
discoveries new details about my childhood. I called out in my exhausted,
yet ever alert state, asking the universe to allow me to sink into an
undisturbed, peaceful sleep…
 |
| From the short film 'Adrift' by Leah Johnston |
Slumberland
Grant me the gift of space to sleep, softly,
To sink into the sweet sounds of Slumberland;
Lying within the lilting lullaby,
Hearing hope replace horror.
Give me time to be calmly cradled into morning
With real, renewed strength to stand, tall
To face the fire of the ferocious sun,
Who highlights the heartaches of a heavy day.
Allow me to reclaim my restoration,
To feel free to open my falling eyes, widely
Without extended exhaustion from the demons of the dark.
Show me how to step into silent stillness;
To bask in the beginnings of this revelation,
Learning to dance within the deep delight of dreams.
Teach me to trust in the temptation of surrender.
To concede control to the security of the stars;
To let go of my weighted worries to the whispers, who
Recall my resolve to release my mind to relaxation.
Lead me with the lingering light of the moon
To a land where I can slide into slow, safe sleep.
~
(Click play below for a little treat by artist Leah Johnston)
~
(Click play below for a little treat by artist Leah Johnston)
Mariann Martland is discovering a voice in her life through words, poetry, art, inspiration and healing. She is learning the difference between enforced silence in the despair of loneliness and chosen silence in the beauty of solitude; how silence can create both pain and peace. She is beginning to find her voice and share her truth. She would love to connect with you on Twitter, or Facebook and on her blog ‘The Power of Silence’.
~If you are interested in seeing your poetry appear in this blog, or submitting a poem by a woman that has inspired you, please click here for submission guidelines. I greatly look forward to hearing from you!~
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