Sometimes, I feel myself fighting a battle between the light and darkness within me…
It's as if there I struggle with selfish desires on one side, against divine, pure love on the other. When I feel this stirring within me, I call upon the Goddess, the Divine Mother, to help me with this fight. Though I sense that it all boils down to my own willpower: to resist that within me that is of lower states: darkness.
Because, sometimes I find, that if I don't look deeper, the dark love looks sweet and inviting, but only brings bitterness in its wake, and as its consequence separation and destruction.
Sometimes this fight with darkness brings out despair, and I feel like giving up. But there seems to be a faith, or a hope, in my heart that I can tap into, and that puts me on my feet again. It is a sacred process, which I find to be extremely empowering and inspiring: the quest to find and cultivate within myself the pure, chaste love of divine origin.
The Fire That Does Not Taint
by Laura Boeva
A golden sky at dawn,
the creation breathes in
but our struggles go unseen
by all except the Goddess.
The fight for purity:
Detachment, but love
dying to something primitive
that by all accounts looks like love,
but is poison and bitterness in disguise.
Under pressure, a light appears:
the more overdue, the stronger
is the invisible hand,
its holy presence like
a silvery, comforting veil,
or moonlight making the air around me
luminous in the dark night,
snow crystals glittering like
the new understanding in my heart.
The mind is powerless facing these mysteries:
the mystery of the agony of repentance,
losing hope but not ceasing to look
for a stronger faith.
It’s as if the heart will not allow
my grasp of the light to loosen
just like it won't allow the breath,
the blood, the body to cease.
My mysterious Mother
Mother of Angels,
Mother of the Universe,
Mother of Creation
infusing this black, defiled body
bringing to life the ancient fire
in my atoms, the fire that leads
In the sacred darkness and prayer
you appear, you guide me.
I cannot avert my mind or heart from you
or the dangers will come too close to endure.
How easily I deny everything: fear and love.
But let me find a way of flowing
through the grip of fear
and into the pure spaces
where I may find love
that burns and consumes like the secret eternal fire
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