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COME BACK AS MEN by Jai Maa


Blessings. Thank you for taking the time to experience “Come Back As Men.”

Back in 2006, a fellow poet friend and I were free-styling while driving to a poetry slam competition in Gainesville, FL. We were both seasoned poets who had won various competitions and we thought we would free-style at the poetry slam just to step out of our comfort zone.

As we were practicing, the essence of “Come Back As Men” channeled through us.

We both slipped into a trance and knew we had to share this perspective of war at the competition.

After we won, I went home and created a solo poem, convinced I had struck magic.

While I was writing in my living room, around fifty deceased women burst through my heart chakra. I was convulsing and crying as my hand shook violently to capture all of the words these spirits were spewing at me.

I looked up and could see that these women had come from different war periods, mostly from World War I & II, but some dating back to the 1800’s.

Many of these women were still angry from their experience and felt grateful that someone was willing to finally give them a voice.

Still to this day, I struggle with fighting back tears due of the intensity of their emotion funneling through me while I perform their poem, “Come Back As Men.” 






















Come Back As Men

(Scroll down to hear an emotionally-charged, powerful recitation by the author)
~Trigger warning: poem contains powerful visual imagery related to war~

Sun sets over open clear waters
I’m told
It’s beautiful
So powerful as it lies to rest over wavy beds of ruby red mirrors
So powerful I am blinded by its reflection but I’m told
It’s beautiful
And I’m told to trust what I can not see because its ‘powerful’
‘Beautiful’ they say…
And as you march away the last words that stray from your lips
The last place I swore I would ever kiss
The last taste I would never forget dripped the essence of your beautiful
So blinded by the powerful sun setting over open clear waters
Dutiful…
Marching away like the last day of my life
And I’m the wife that swore until death do us part
But as war
Tears us apart I hiss
I didn’t sign up for this
And all you can do is promise
“I’ll come back…
And when I do, I’ll be a better man than before”
WAR

DO THEY REALLY COME BACK AS MEN?

Brain washed uniform toy soldiers
Standing to solute the freedom that was never freely given to you
Now you’re older to realize the truth that those lies are true and
Now you must choose to walk a mile in the shoes of the men of war that
         came before you but

DO THEY REALLY COME BACK AS MEN?

Eyes swollen
Hearts broken
Lives stolen
Who told them this was how to protect their loved ones?!!!
Psyches shot like machine guns
Bombs dropped on kids in villages their
Mothers raped for fun
Toy soldiers march into the blinding sun
Amputate the limbs off your best friend one by one
Don’t stop shooting until this boundless war is done
And don’t forget to run
RUN!
RUN back into the manhood you were promised to!!!
Back to your wife and kids
If God spares you that is

BUT DO THEY REALLY COME BACK AS MEN?

Eyes swollen
From blood shot eyes straining to stay open
Straining to be nocturnal so you don’t die in the dark
Straining back seas so you can see enemies
Can’t let emotion blur your vision
Must kill or be killed
You made the decision to have no choice
Look into the eyes of a soldier on the other side and
See your reflection in fear mirrored before one of you dies and
It doesn’t matter who survives because staying alive is being in hell and
You might as well do the honorable thing
And put a grown-up child out of his misery but
Don’t forget to pray for the family you’re robbing him from
Keep shooting until this boundless war is done
And one day
Your children will tell your great grand children how great you were then
But what I want to know is

DO THEY REALLY COME BACK AS MEN?

Eyes swollen
Hearts broken
When you came, back home,
I became frozen by your coldness, our bed…
I sleep with at least a hundred dead men and their broken families
You’re more aggressive now
You’re proud to show off your medallions, stars and stripes
And I hide your scares
On my body
To ashamed to bare how much you ‘love me’
Maybe I too should show off the red, fight, and blue bruises I earned for my
    family’s freedom
But my vision was too blurred by emotion that I never felt free
Silenced my beautiful every time you beat me
Body frozen by your coldness
Neighbors envious that their husbands never made it home to beat them!!!
So tell me free America

DO THEY REALLY COME BACK AS MEN?

Eyes swollen
Hearts broken
Lives stolen from families and
Just to make sure we protect and preserve our own country we
Travel overseas and whack branches of family trees like machetes we
Clear the path for suffering so we can all serve our sentence in purgatory
    equally we
All wish to be treated equally so
If selfishness is all we know
Then violence is all we’ll show
But in everyone’s eyes either side could be perceived as the bad guy so
Why not spend time and zillions of dollars helping others and not
     overthrowing them?
And maybe then

THEY MIGHT REALLY COME BACK AS MEN!

No more drunken vets bragging about how many stars and stripes they won
    for slaughtering the most people
No more homeless bums fractured and disabled from taking care of
    themselves because America won’t help
No more night tremors as your psyche struggles to contain itself
Slipping back into the comfort zone of
“This is the way life is and I’m free now”
No more raising our sons and some daughters to think in a “you must fight
    to be free” mentality
Especially since
Freedom is a state of consciousness we can all tap into equally
No more coming back as better men when too many of them don’t even
    come back
No more blood baths
Because we want
Clear waters
Sun setting over them because we know they’re beautiful
I’ve seen its reflection
And I know
Of its beautiful
~


(Click play to hear Jai Maa recite her poem. 
WARNING: Video contains violent imagery related to war) 
(Photos were not taken by Jai Maa and she credits the art to their various artists. If you would like to be acknowledged for your photo, email her at breakthroughyourthreshold@gmail.com)


Jai Maa: Formerly known as Lacey Nagy, is co-founder of Gainesville’s Third Eye Spoken Productions, an art and poetry event benefiting local non-profits and charities. While still in high school, Jai Maa published her first poem in the National Poetry Guild and soon thereafter became a spoken word artist. She is former Creative Director of Tampa’s Write Side Poets, Inc. where she and her team competed in state wide slam competitions, held open mic venues for teens and adults, and created poetry performance programs for a children’s theatrical camp. You can enjoy hearing Jai Maa’s poems in her debut album “Barely Exposed.” Jai Maa is currently an Inter-faith Minister, Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, and Enlightenment Facilitator teaching throughout Florida and is soon to publish her first book on the metaphysics behind obstacles and expanding consciousness. She has an insatiable thirst for cosmic adventure, soul freedom, and awakening the Goddess within. You may connect with her via her website here or on Facebook


~If you are interested in seeing your poetry appear in this blog, or submitting a poem by a woman that has inspired you, please click here for submission guidelines. I greatly look forward to hearing from you!~ 

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