Journey of the Heart

Two weeks ago I was struggling with writing my memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility."  I was feeling defeated and overwhelmed by the process of writing yet knowing that I have been called to write my memoir so that others will know that there is hope for healing and possibility regardless of all outward appearances and seemingly impossible odds. I certainly know what seemed to be impossible odds as a survivor of paralytic polio and severe trauma. There was a struggle going on inside of me where I wanted to ditch writing my memoir, and contract, and withdraw from my journey of transformation altogether.  But my Spirit would never let that happen and so, a Dragonfly landed on my arm in that moment of struggle inspiring this poem, with a message that seemed to say: "Keep going!".  Dragonfly In a moment of confusion blue and gold totem alighted stopping her flight to bring me my message cease struggle and ...

Last Spring I was sitting in my yard in meditation...  I watched a monarch butterfly dancing on the lawn and felt an amazing connection to this beautiful creature. She invited me to contemplate my journey of transformation as I had set out on an adventure to heal my life. Just as the caterpillar has to die to be transformed, I experienced a death of my old ways, my old habits, of fear and of living in the shadow of myself afraid to express and experience the fullness of my Being. I was touched by grace and found amazing healers and teachers flow into my life once I set my intention to heal. On my yoga mat, I express the fullness of my transformation living in the present moment leaving behind all that went before dancing with the butterfly the Divine dance of mystery and sacredness. Surrender by Mary McManus No longer living life in retreat hiding in the bunker cowering, quivering, shivering mustering courage waving the white flag a ma...

  The poem, The Gardener, came to me during a meditation… For years - for decades really - I was searching. I was looking for answers to what I had lived through. I wanted to make sense out of tragedy. When I stopped looking for answers outside of myself, when I stopped grasping, and when I finally listened to how my Spirit was speaking to me through a body that shut down, the healing finally began. This poem speaks to the importance of tending to the garden of our soul and taking time to go within. There is sorrow in life. The tears that fall are not in vain, but are there to water the seeds of transformation so we can grow into the fullness of our Being.  Pain is our greatest teacher if we use it to help us to awaken and blossom as the beautiful flowers our Divine Creator intended us to be. When we align with the Love of Source, weed our garden from thoughts that separate us from that Love, our hearts open and we turn our faces to the sun becoming...

I wrote a letter of forgiveness to my mother many years ago… This freed me spiritually to allow Divine Goddesses to flow into my life.  For my biological mother was addicted to prescription pain medication and did not provide me with a foundation of nurturing, nor was she a role model for me to experience myself as a Divine Goddess. I have, however, been blessed by so many teachers and healers who embody the unconditional Divine Love of the feminine. One of my yoga teachers, Joanne Flaherty inspired my poem Goddess. I opened my heart and soul to experience the Divine connection between us as the Divine feminine, healing all that went before bringing me into that mystical moment with her. Goddess art by Zeng Hao Goddess The embodiment of Divine goddess long locks spill over sinewy silhouette in tadasana eyes closed serenity breath beckoning to join her on the mountain top Spirit set free flows with each inhalation and exhalation strippi...

Writing poetry became a powerful source of healing… It was the Saturday of our next to last weekend of teacher training. Our teacher, David Vendetti, led us through an intense breath work session to strip away our defenses and our ego and help us tap into our Source, our Strength and the Truth of our Being.  As we sat in our tribal circle after the breath work, David asked if anyone had anything to share. I raised my hand and he called on me. "I feel as though I was broken into wholeness."  "Ooh, say more," he said. I sobbed deeply from the depths of my soul. During the breath work I became keenly aware of how numb I was and how close I was to a spiritual and hence physical death in December of 2006 when my body basically shut down in the guise of post polio syndrome, a progressive neurological disease. The dis-ease was in large part a result of disconnecting from my Spirit - the life force within me. My Spirit went into hiding as a resul...

I discovered that creating poetry healed my heart and gave Voice to my Spirit…. Even after living in a family where violence and chaos reigned, where it is easy to be pulled into the vortex of darkness, my Spirit knew there was something more. It took decades of searching for healing, and then -- I came to my yoga mat. I discovered the healing power of yoga and the healing power of the sangha , or sacred community and company. My desire to share this poem came after reading Ruth Calder Murphy’s beautiful and stirring poem by the same title “Quicksand” here , also shared here in this beautiful sacred space, which is also a kind of sangha. I am incredibly blessed and grateful, just like the lotus flower, to have found my way out of the muck and mire of my past to the beauty of my own self and my own life right now. Quicksand Sinister cynicism twisted minds and souls wanting me to join them in a cesspool of waste. Unknowingly I stepped in sl...