THE DIFFERENCE by Anonymous

(Editors note: This is National Suicide Prevention Week. The poems we feature this week are meant to contribute to raising awareness toward this cause. All are welcome to participate)

For some, adolescence painfully toys with their lives like a cat plays with a mouse before devouring it…

With its overwhelming swirls of hormones and individuating drives, adolescence can rip into sensitive hearts like fangs into soft skin. 

Mercilessly, it leaves some young girls dragging themselves to school, only to question why their peers seem to be smiling and laughing frivolously, planning prom dates, while they are throwing up in the bathroom or up all night agonizing over ways to take their own lives. The contrast is dramatic.

This drastic difference is perhaps one of the most tormenting realizations depressed teenage girls can have: the observation that they are experiencing struggles that most of their peers are not. It is an incredibly isolating sensation at a time in which socializing is so important.

Because only 20% of teenagers experience severe depression before they reach adulthood, those who do often have a hard time finding friends who can understand them or relate to how they feel. 

Consequently, they keep many of their feelings to themselves, which usually makes their struggles worse. Writing poetry can become, in part, what carries depressed teens through that most challenging phase of their life. As they learn to share their feelings through poems, they draw some comfort from feeling heard. I used poetry in this way when I was a teenager, and today I would like to offer a young voice that same opportunity: to feel heard and hopefully, not so alone. 

Recently, inspired by the other poems in this poetry journal, a courageous, teenage girl decided to voice her own struggles in a poem of her own, and share it here with all of us. The only request was that I publish it anonymously.

Although I usually don’t publish poems anonymously, I feel that this is a worthwhile exception, as sometimes letting just one achy heart know that it was heard and appreciated, can save a beautiful, young girl’s life. 

Thank you.  ~Catherine~ 

I'm a 15 year old girl...

Ever since I was 12 I have struggled with depression along with self-harm and self-image problems. 

This poem is a comparison of some of the challenges I face alongside of what I feel are the things a typical teenager deals with.

'Wishing you well' by teen photographer Kiara Rose

The Difference

When you think about pain, you think of a scraped knee

When I think about it, I think of the scars on me

For you, sadness lasts a day

For years my sadness has been to stay

When you were hungry, you ate

When I was all I saw was fat on my plate

The most stress you ever had was studying for a test

Me? Well, my whole life was a mess

When you think of happiness, you think of rainbows and butterflies

I think of being pretty and having smaller thighs

When you say you're depressed, it's for something as minor as spilling your tea

When I say I am, it's because there's no future I can see

That is the difference between you and me.
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(If you ever need someone to talk to, 
please call 1-800-273-TALK (8225) for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) 

'We Are All Going" by Teenage Photographer Kiara Rose

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