THE BEAUTY IN YOU by Ulli Stanway

I had a total hysterectomy five weeks ago. I am 43 years old and without child...

I had developed fibroids and I had been an endometriosis sufferer for many years. From my first to my last period I had always fought a battle. I also had body image issues for many years. My relationship with myself was constantly compromised by self- doubt, guilt and the need to please the unappeasable ones. I needed to fit in to be seen. I needed to be small as to not upset anyone. When I spoke out loud I used to apologize immediately. After all I didn’t want to offend.

So here I am now: five weeks post hysterectomy. On the road towards my truth. Without a preprinted heart map. I am allowing myself to rest and to feel all. I take up space. A lot of space. I ask for help. I am exquisitely gentle with myself and I love how my bulging belly now heals day by day. There is a scar. About 16cm long. A scar that proves that in the end I did put myself first. A scar that shows that my courage shines bright and that I am still here. I chose freedom of pain above all else. Because I matter. And my story is enough. As am I. And so it is.

The Beauty in You

by Ulli Stanway

We hide within our shadows;

often for decades!

We live an approved life behind smiles,

filled with teary, sad eyes.

Our hearts carry heavy storybooks

of untold adventures.

We don’t wish to offend.

We don’t ask for help.

Our souls drown in self-doubt:

Guilt of being too much has us in tight grip.

And then,

just like that,

one day

we look into the mirror and see ourselves!

And we notice the softness of our reflection,

and how much She asks to be embraced;

How She needs to be cared for...

tenderly and without proof of her love.

There She is...

In all her beauty and fear.

And before your mind can take your heart hostage again
a warm, loving feeling expands within your center.

It fills your stomach

and you can’t help but start smiling

at that beautiful girl

starring back at you.

You notice the dark shadows under her eyes

and for the first time

you don’t mind her wrinkles and the slightly saggy skin.

Instead, you start counting the freckles on her face.

Minutes go by

as you stand in your own miracle.

All of the sudden

your beautiful reflection changes;

she morphs into something new

and you start seeing them all:

your Mother, and Grandmother

and all the Ones who came before you.

And you finally understand that you are part of something:

Something so beautiful it cannot be hidden any longer.

You have not seen this before.

And now

there She is

and all you can see is

the Beauty in you.

Pictured is the author, Ulli Stanway

Ulli Stanway: I am a rising poetess/writer/day dreamer and life lover. I live in Melbourne Australia with my beautiful husband. I love nature and I am a confessing tree hugger. I invite you to visit my website "Heart Rehab" here, which I hope will inspire other kindred souls to follow their own dreams and skip down a path they truly enjoy. I believe in becoming your authentic self, become who you are with all your quirkiness, weirdness and amazing talents. We don’t need to have countless copies of the same story being told. Be you, all that you are and that is perfectly enough. And you are so very needed. My mantra is taking your shoes off and run barefoot, in the rain whenever possible. Embrace everything you are. Here and now." To connect with me on Facebook, click here.

~If you are interested in seeing your poetry appear in this blog, or submitting a poem by a woman that has inspired you, please click here for submission guidelines. I greatly look forward to hearing from you!~

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