IF I FALL INTO GRIEF by Maureen Kwiat Meshenberg

During this time of the COVID-19 pandemic, what seems to have created insurmountable uncertainty, our hearts were crack wide open with so many different emotions. I--as I am sure many others did as well--fell into grief, as we all moved through the beginning months of this pandemic and continue to do so now. We learned to lean into love and the love of dear ones around us, but moving through this pandemic, I did hold the hand of grief. Loss of dear ones close to me to COVID-19, the world coming to a complete halt, the grip of it. Yet bearing witness to my grief,  I allowed it to have space. By doing so, grief finds its way to lead me to compassion, to hope, to love. Writing during National Poetry Month, April 2020 and publishing my book, Our Surrendering Pause: 30 Poems in 30 Days, brought me to write so many different kinds of poems. To touch the edges of us, to inspire us, to allow us to find space for grief, for pause, for love. This is why I wrote this book. Please know that all revenues of this book will support COVID relief efforts in Chicago, Illinois.

If I Fall Into Grief

if I fall into grief

trying to find my way home

if I am in disbelief
trying to find my way to hope
home
with rooms in my heart
some bare and dark
seeking the light of day
to clear the way
to lifting the windows
in my soul
push them up and let
the breath of love in
even when I want to board them up
and sink deep inside and hide
hope
that in this moment now
without the chatter from others
of how it all should be done
how my life should be lived
sometimes I can barely breathe
what breaks the irrational
when the irrational becomes rational
when abnormal becomes the new normal
spilling out its grief
hope comes with
a tender way
bearing witness to my grief
comes with healing
turning my grief
into compassion
as we all
fold into the same place
I will not let bitterness
replace it all
even in my sorrow
find my way home
lift the windows up
let love flood in
where if even in deep
aloneness
I will find who I am
love me
hold
me
be kind to
me
through my vulnerable
as I watch it turn
into my strength
to heal my crying places
as love comes
love always comes.

Maureen Kwiat Meshenberg is a prolific writer, poet and writing workshop facilitator.  Maureen’s passion for writing became her heart vision in 2010. Her poetry comes to her through life’s experiences and delving deep into her soul speak. She considers writing her lightwork. Maureen is a medicine woman of words. She started her Facebok page  Heart’s Calling –with more than 6,000 followers—in 2011. As a writing workshop facilitator, she brings participants to a place of inner release and creativity through the written word. Her unique use of prompts initiates transforming responses as participants find an opening to inner empowerment and enlightenment through writing. She recites her poetry at local venues and conducts writing workshops at different retreats and studios throughout the Chicago area. She has three adult children: Alexandra, Dylan and Jonah. She resides in Oak Park, Illinois and enjoys beautiful walks in her neighborhood with her beloved Shiba Inu, Tsuki. Maureen is author of Seasons of the Soul: Transitions and Shifts of Life and Our Surrendering Pause: 30 Poems in 30 Days, (Golden Dragonfly Press, 2020). She was  one of two recipients of the annual  Janavi Held Endowed Poetry and Art Grant in 2020. To learn more about Maureen's work, please visit her website here.

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