RENTED BODY by Janavi Held

Editor's note: This poem has received a nomination for the 2023 Pushcart Prize: 

Rented Body

by Janavi Held

 

I live uneasily 

in my rented body

wondering when

the surrogate season 

of shadows will pass.

Perishable memories ­­

I have clutched 

within this rented vessel;

so many forsaken treasures 

slip like blinded angels 

through the atoms ­­

of my rented jail.

They do not land on rock;

they come from my bones 

like a hurricane, 

as my rented flesh is uplifted 

by hunger and money 

as the two parts 

of my soul search for eyes, 

for the waterfall, 

for the forget-me-nots 

to thaw the frozen atmosphere of tears, 

for the pale cathedral of doubt 

to replace its dead shadow 

with a constant heart.

In my rented body

I climb titanic,

twisting stairs, 

casting my own shadow 

on the torn remnants 

of these days,

and mortal fibers, 

I’ve torn them 

from my rented heart, 

those gentle atoms

living as the symbol

of silence, 

of forever, 

of the Master 

of all destroyed things.

~This poem originally appeared in Whispers from Her Deathbed 

published with Golden Dragonfly Press. June 3, 2022~

Photographic Artistic Collage by the poet, Janavi Held 

Janavi Held (1965-2018) was a soulful dancer, artist, poet, photographer and yogini that was suddenly struck with an incurable illness in her forties, and spent the last five years of her life bedridden, writing poems. During that time, Janavi published her first poetry collection Letters to my Oldest Friend: A Book of Poetry and Photography, and had two of her poems shortlisted for the prestigious Hamilton House International Poetry Prize awarded by the University Centre Grimsby, and published in their anthology "Eternal." Janavi also contributed poems to two poetry anthologies, Bhakti Blossoms: A Collection of Contemporary Vaishnavi Poetry and GODDESS: When She Rules: Expressions by Contemporary Women. After a carefree childhood of writing poetry and wandering around with her father’s camera, Janavi dedicated herself to practicing Bhakti Yoga at age nineteen.She held a bachelor’s degree from Goddard College where she studied poetry, photography, and media studies. Janavi passed away at the age of 53 in Colorado, leaving behind a voluminous oeuvre spanning across various mediums of expression.Some of her poems have been compiled into a posthumous poetry collection "Whispers From Her Deathbed" (Golden Dragonfly Press, 2022). You may read more of her poems and view her artwork on her website www.janaviheld.com 

*For submission guidelines, click here.*