COME BACK AS MEN by Jai Maa

Blessings. Thank you for taking the time to experience “Come Back As Men.”

Back in 2006, a fellow poet friend and I were free-styling while driving to a poetry slam competition in Gainesville, FL. We were both seasoned poets who had won various competitions and we thought we would free-style at the poetry slam just to step out of our comfort zone.

As we were practicing, the essence of “Come Back As Men” channeled through us.

We both slipped into a trance and knew we had to share this perspective of war at the competition.

After we won, I went home and created a solo poem, convinced I had struck magic.

While I was writing in my living room, around fifty deceased women burst through my heart chakra. I was convulsing and crying as my hand shook violently to capture all of the words these spirits were spewing at me.

I looked up and could see that these women had come from different war periods, mostly from World War I & II, but some dating back to the 1800’s.

Many of these women were still angry from their experience and felt grateful that someone was willing to finally give them a voice.

Still to this day, I struggle with fighting back tears due of the intensity of their emotion funneling through me while I perform their poem, “Come Back As Men.” 

Come Back As Men

(Scroll down to hear an emotionally-charged, powerful recitation by the author)
~Trigger warning: poem contains powerful visual imagery related to war~

Sun sets over open clear waters

I’m told

It’s beautiful

So powerful as it lies to rest over wavy beds of ruby red mirrors

So powerful I am blinded by its reflection but I’m told

It’s beautiful

And I’m told to trust what I can not see because its ‘powerful’

‘Beautiful’ they say…

And as you march away the last words that stray from your lips

The last place I swore I would ever kiss

The last taste I would never forget dripped the essence of your beautiful

So blinded by the powerful sun setting over open clear waters

Dutiful…

Marching away like the last day of my life

And I’m the wife that swore until death do us part

But as war

Tears us apart I hiss

I didn’t sign up for this

And all you can do is promise

“I’ll come back…

And when I do, I’ll be a better man than before”

WAR

DO THEY REALLY COME BACK AS MEN?

Brain washed uniform toy soldiers

Standing to solute the freedom that was never freely given to you

Now you’re older to realize the truth that those lies are true and

Now you must choose to walk a mile in the shoes of the men of war that

         came before you but

DO THEY REALLY COME BACK AS MEN?

Eyes swollen

Hearts broken

Lives stolen

Who told them this was how to protect their loved ones?!!!

Psyches shot like machine guns

Bombs dropped on kids in villages their

Mothers raped for fun

Toy soldiers march into the blinding sun

Amputate the limbs off your best friend one by one

Don’t stop shooting until this boundless war is done

And don’t forget to run

RUN!

RUN back into the manhood you were promised to!!!

Back to your wife and kids

If God spares you that is

BUT DO THEY REALLY COME BACK AS MEN?

Eyes swollen

From blood shot eyes straining to stay open

Straining to be nocturnal so you don’t die in the dark

Straining back seas so you can see enemies

Can’t let emotion blur your vision

Must kill or be killed

You made the decision to have no choice

Look into the eyes of a soldier on the other side and

See your reflection in fear mirrored before one of you dies and

It doesn’t matter who survives because staying alive is being in hell and

You might as well do the honorable thing

And put a grown-up child out of his misery but

Don’t forget to pray for the family you’re robbing him from

Keep shooting until this boundless war is done

And one day

Your children will tell your great grand children how great you were then

But what I want to know is

DO THEY REALLY COME BACK AS MEN?

Eyes swollen

Hearts broken

When you came, back home,

I became frozen by your coldness, our bed…

I sleep with at least a hundred dead men and their broken families

You’re more aggressive now

You’re proud to show off your medallions, stars and stripes

And I hide your scares

On my body

To ashamed to bare how much you ‘love me’

Maybe I too should show off the red, fight, and blue bruises I earned for my

    family’s freedom

But my vision was too blurred by emotion that I never felt free

Silenced my beautiful every time you beat me

Body frozen by your coldness

Neighbors envious that their husbands never made it home to beat them!!!

So tell me free America

DO THEY REALLY COME BACK AS MEN?

Eyes swollen

Hearts broken

Lives stolen from families and

Just to make sure we protect and preserve our own country we

Travel overseas and whack branches of family trees like machetes we

Clear the path for suffering so we can all serve our sentence in purgatory

    equally we

All wish to be treated equally so

If selfishness is all we know

Then violence is all we’ll show

But in everyone’s eyes either side could be perceived as the bad guy so

Why not spend time and zillions of dollars helping others and not

     overthrowing them?

And maybe then

THEY MIGHT REALLY COME BACK AS MEN!

No more drunken vets bragging about how many stars and stripes they won

    for slaughtering the most people

No more homeless bums fractured and disabled from taking care of

    themselves because America won’t help

No more night tremors as your psyche struggles to contain itself

Slipping back into the comfort zone of

“This is the way life is and I’m free now”

No more raising our sons and some daughters to think in a “you must fight

    to be free” mentality

Especially since

Freedom is a state of consciousness we can all tap into equally

No more coming back as better men when too many of them don’t even

    come back

No more blood baths

Because we want

Clear waters

Sun setting over them because we know they’re beautiful

I’ve seen its reflection

And I know

Of its beautiful

~

(Click play to hear Jai Maa recite her poem. 

WARNING: Video contains violent imagery related to war) 

(Photos were not taken by Jai Maa and she credits the art to their various artists. If you would like to be acknowledged for your photo, email her at breakthroughyourthreshold@gmail.com)

Jai Maa: Formerly known as Lacey Nagy, is co-founder of Gainesville’s Third Eye Spoken Productions, an art and poetry event benefiting local non-profits and charities. While still in high school, Jai Maa published her first poem in the National Poetry Guild and soon thereafter became a spoken word artist. She is former Creative Director of Tampa’s Write Side Poets, Inc. where she and her team competed in state wide slam competitions, held open mic venues for teens and adults, and created poetry performance programs for a children’s theatrical camp. You can enjoy hearing Jai Maa’s poems in her debut album “Barely Exposed.” Jai Maa is currently an Inter-faith Minister, Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, and Enlightenment Facilitator teaching throughout Florida and is soon to publish her first book on the metaphysics behind obstacles and expanding consciousness. She has an insatiable thirst for cosmic adventure, soul freedom, and awakening the Goddess within. You may connect with her via her website here or on Facebook. 

~If you are interested in seeing your poetry appear in this blog, or submitting a poem by a woman that has inspired you, please click here for submission guidelines. I greatly look forward to hearing from you!~