In this poem, I hoped
to articulate the importance of friends and friendships...
 |
| Art by Sascalia |
In
bhakti yoga, this is emphasized: sanga, meaning the company and
community of others on the path, is considered to be something that we
absolutely need in order to grow in and sustain our faith. Bhakti yogis are
instructed to develop intimate and confidential friendships with others on the
path. Loving God includes loving all those dear to him.
I
wrote this poem originally intending to write about how my Guru, my guide and
teacher in bhakti yoga, feels like a friend of the soul to me and how the very
feeling of him seems to sustain my soul.
But in the process of writing, I
changed it from a singular friend to plural, as in "friends of the
soul", realizing that God's grace comes to me - yes, in the form of my
guru - but also in other friendships that nourish my soul.
 |
| Art by Sascalia |
Besides
relationships, God's grace and good will toward me sometimes takes other forms.
For example, I consider the feeling of hope and faith as such good friends of
my soul.
Srila
Sridhara Maharaja, a beloved teacher of bhakti, has often been quoted saying
"the environment is friendly" meaning that when we are able to see
the world through the eyes of faith and love - and approach it as servants
rather than exploiters - we will see how everything in our lives is indeed
friendly and helping us. "A bad worker quarrels with his tools", as
Sridhara Maharaja puts it. Meaning: we must start where we are, work with what
we have.
What I
have, personally, is a lot of shame and sorrow, and doubt as well, to work
with. And I certainly have wasted a lot of time quarreling with myself, and my
circumstances. And, at times, to my regret that has created distance between me
and my friends.
But what has pulled me through - and near - has always been the love of my friends, their love for my soul.
But what has pulled me through - and near - has always been the love of my friends, their love for my soul.
This
poem is dedicated to all my friends - especially to my Guru, a dearmost friend
of my soul.
 |
| Photography by Narayana Das |
The Feeling of You
Dear friend
of the soul,
I've been
holding my distance
from you
knee-deep in
disbelief,
I have stood
my ground on nothing
for fear
gave me
such
impossible marching orders that
my feet, for
a year, refused to go
near you.
Only
distance grew big in me
as I leaned
into it
I became
small,
holding onto
nothing
poured
of the
concrete of despair
and sorrow
let me tell
you -
should never
feel like your only friend
but
sometimes
she does
So, I stood
still
wearing the
heavy shoes of hesitation;
feet in the
cement of my
own pouring
and the
place I once hurried to,
became just
a blurred vision on the horizon,
as I let the
the feeling
of you
fade away;
and doubt to
wear myself thin
somehow, I
lost touch
of the
Meaningful
let my hope
be reduced
to a tiny whisper in the corners of the self
made my home
into the alone and
housed
myself in the smallest possible corner
of the
self: shame.
I fell so
far and away
from you
But then, as
the very
ground beneath my stumbling
rose up to
hold me
I found out
that
a little
hope
goes a long
way
for everything
holds a possibility
for entering
the Meaningful.
There are
two ways to live:
as though
everything has meaning
or nothing
The nothing,
got me nowhere
but the
everything,
got me
cornered: I had to face myself in all directions
pull away
far enough
and you are
pulled near – almost by accident.
Such is the
crookedness of grace. It gets you
while you're
getting away from it.
And the
something missing
in
everything
reveals
your heart's
longing for
the
Meaningful
who
comes
in search of
us
until you
recognize her
as the very
Friend you've missed all your life
and then you
will see how
God has sent
so many good friends to meet you on the way!
Friends of
the soul, who come
with hopeful
news about the meaning of it all
who hold
your heart
in such a
way that
the very
feeling of them
is enough of
an answer.
Dearmost
friends,
coming with
arms full
of
love letters
to your soul
Think about
it: you can be
best friends
with the
Forever.
Oh my
friends,
I fold the feeling of you into a corner of my
heart
and keep it
there, in the chambers of my
unsteady
heart
ready to be pulled
out when and if need be
I hold on to
this, the faith of you
that gives
the Meaningful into my empty arms
giving me
so much to
hold onto
that I am
held
from here to
hope, to love
and my soul
is received in such a way
that nothing
can no longer
claim to
fill me.
My friends,
everything
about you pulls me nearer to the Meaningful
as I lean
towards this feeling of you; this vastness
that's
holding my heart
- and the things
it has to
say to me,
my head can
hardly believe it
so like an
unsent letter, I hide it away, tuck it under my heart
and wonder
if there's a way to say it?
Or if I can
even feel it tomorrow
Still, the
feeling of you
is now a
space that's widening
inside of
me,
and I
come out
bigger
for having
been in it.
Something in
you,
makes my
soul
come out and
be near.
In the
presence of friends
who love my
self like their own self
distance is
no longer an option.
I know this
now:
to have this
kind of intimacy, even for a moment,
between you
and the one that needs no introducing
and to feel
the vastness of that love
that somehow
squeezes itself
inside your
little heart and makes it bigger,
is the
miracle we were born into.
The embrace
is such
that your
prayers become short: just wishes
for everyone
to have friends like this!
To come
across a friend of the soul
is the
reassurance of ten thousand loving arms
wrapping
themselves around you
To know that
God has such friends for your soul
makes
everything appear friendly;
you might
even begin to befriend
the stranger
in your own self,
so difficult
to love, to embrace
for it's
like spring, when someone receives you
like this:
you grow
without trying to.
And friends
like this
who welcome
your soul,
like the sun
welcomes the day
by
giving it
it's
light: illuminates
both
your
absolute need for mercy
and the
existence of it –
God does not
just give grace
- she
becomes it
and you see
it
in your
friend's smiling face – in your own
smile, too
like a
thousand suns
appearing
across the horizon of your heart
and you feel
it,
as the heart
you've held closed
now pours
itself out
almost
involuntarily
What the
world needs
is this
space
widening in
every heart
So,
may the
something missing
lead you
there
and your
soul come to know
the embrace
of such Friends
may the
feeling of them
guide you
to the
Meaningful
in search of
you.
Look around:
Everything wants to be your friend.
~
~If you are interested in seeing your poetry appear in this blog, or submitting a poem by a woman that has inspired you, please click here for submission guidelines. I greatly look forward to hearing from you!~
Tadiya Dasi: "My poems are the outpourings of my heart. My inspiration comes from seeking the heart of yoga through bhakti. In poems, and in life, I seek to embrace the questions and live the answers of my heartfelt truth to the highest degree of surrender possible. I search for that truth through heart-centered, meditative, yoga practice." You may connect with Tadiya on facebook here, or via e-mail Tadiyadasi@yahoo.com.
~If you are interested in seeing your poetry appear in this blog, or submitting a poem by a woman that has inspired you, please click here for submission guidelines. I greatly look forward to hearing from you!~
Comments
Post a Comment