During
this years long warm Autumn I sorted through my photographs to make a slide
show to capture the season...
This time of year, as the summer fades, a
melancholy takes its place in my heart as I prepare for the cold of winter, as
I watch all the fading green, the drifting leaves, dropping and rolling in the
street, and scattering over well-kept lawns.
The
first poem, My Poverty, also speaks
of this season, as I grab onto the last bits of warmth, seeking the fading
trees and flowers for inspiration to get through the cold season, when I feel
impoverished without the blooming world of nature.
The
second poem, Wardrobe, is a
reflection on the silent hours of winter, and the contemplation that naturally arises
from stillness. In this contemplation I observe my need to write of things felt
and seen, as well as the unseen, those things deep in my subconscious, which
can rule the motions of my life, this poem attempts to reach into those places
to understand myself better. At the end of the poem, my thoughts dwell on the
isolation of illness; an illness that feels like a long cold winter, where it
feels that the sun has gone out.
(Click play on video below to hear Janavi recite her poems, and view her photography)
 |
| Aspen Vista by the author, Janavi Held |
by Janavi Held
Incandescent
with pathos
waiting
on the silver trail
strewn
with thoughts like rain.
Clay
petals bloom
sorting
out the womb of sky
and
the human flowers
fully
armed with remorse
dipped
black in summer darkness
tattooed
with blood
and
the simple turbulence of the wind.
What
might have been made from all this
is
now dead.
The
flame of shadows
wipes
the forehead clean of fear
and
space, space vast
and
delighted to be so
keeps
busy endlessly brandishing
the
color of sun
and
hatred makes the moon alone
drink
people’s words at night.
And
the tree stands perfectly illiterate
as
I am drenched in worn thin letters
the
tree holds on waiting for me to notice
yet
they remain silent telling me nothing.
The
self crowned kings
those
flowers of all description
flock
like birds gnawing at light
A
shouting mountain
speaks
its momentary truth
as
it clings to the sky between the clouds
and
the golden sun, beneficent and impartial
lays
its light across the worthy land.
Just
a little of this will suffice
my
poverty.
Wardrobe
by Janavi Held
Clouds
throb in the distant waking light
branches
tremble
endless
harmony with the heavy wind
pale,
still light meandering
through
this unending bit of cold
gradually
does the light arise
not
like the stagnant minutes of perception.
In
watching I have unearthed time
resurrected
the sweetness of the sun
I
have been looking at the same thing
for
an eternity
have
made legends out of flowers
and
the soft moving trees.
as
the horizon, so out of control
is
conceited by its own freedom
this
vertiginous stretch
of
anonymous land.
I
would move in many directions
at
once if I could stop feeling like a transparent midnight.
Instead
I stand silent in the center of my thoughts
watching
the clouds enter and move away
watching
bridges built to collapse
watching
the words claim space
reflecting
on obscenities
like
death and illness.
My
wardrobe is made from
all
these tattered thoughts.
Cast
away from the living
I
embody what no one
wants to know.
wants to know.
Janavi Held is the author of Letters to my Oldest Friend: A Book of Poetry and Photography. She has also contributed poems to two poetry anthologies, Bhakti Blossoms: A Collection of Contemporary Vaishnavi Poetry and GODDESS: When She Rules: Expressions by Contemporary Women. Two of her poems were shortlisted for the prestigious Hamilton House International Poetry Prize awarded by the University Centre Grimsby, and published in their anthology "Eternal". Janavi started writing poetry and wandering around with her father’s camera as a child. At the age of nineteen, she began practicing Bhakti yoga. She held a bachelor’s degree from Goddard College where she studied poetry, photography, and media studies. She passed away peacefully in December of 2018 after having battled a brutal illness. You may read more of her poems and view her artwork on her website here and Facebook page here.
Comments
Post a Comment