A PRAYER by Kalindi Dinoffer

A Prayer

by Kalindi Dinoffer

My dear Krishna
My lord
My friend
My best friend
In my heart
And all around me
If only I wasn't so blind

The do's and don'ts
I'll be honest
they often confuse
and bewilder me
the ceremony and ritual
often make me feel
farther from you
not closer

Oh Krishna
Oh Radha
Oh dear Chaitanya
Oh Rama
So many beautiful
names

Maybe I've been
thinking about it
all wrong
If you're the best friend of all
then surely it saddens you
when they forget you
or when they pray
only to ask for you
to solve their problems
all the time

I mean sure
of course
you're all powerful
If I were to try
to put myself in your shoes
I imagine it would feel lonely
if people asked things of me
all the time
without checking in to see
how I'm doing

And love
real love
is about giving
the word service
sometimes gets me
if I'm being honest
it sounds so formal
like a master and servant
but to give on the other hand
well that's only natural
when you love someone

You love all of us souls
so much you give us worlds
to explore
like a loving parent that is sad
if their kids want to venture off
on their own and don't call for a while
you let us
because love isn't love if it's forced

We ask why does God allow war and pain and suffering
What we should ask is why do humans insist on creating it?
You just give us the canvas
a beautiful world, mother earth
we go and muck it up
and then blame you
Wow I'm really sorry
We are, I am, an awful friend
to You...

And well you being you
you forgive
your heart is so big
so full of compassion
mercy
that's another word
that sometimes trips me up
compassion on the other hand
that I get

And anyway they're just words
does it bother you to have friends
that are so immature?
like the ones who never call
until they need something
and then they demand it
on the other hand
a prayer asking
how can I serve you?
is checking in
how are you?
is there anything I can do to support you?
what would make you happy?

You have it all
but love is every expanding
so there can always be more love
and you give us so much
every breath
every moment
you give us everything
you love us
even when we act like idiots
and hurt your feelings
I'm sure

Anyway this has been quite
the ramble
So yeah I'm sorry
I haven't been a better friend
I promise I'll try harder
I hope you know I do love you
even though my heart is often
small and foolish and selfish
maybe one day
I'll live up to my namesake
Kalindi
and be worthy of your affection
that you bestow anyway
wow that must be hard
to send love letters
to all the souls
and have so many ignored

My dear Krishna
My incredible, compassionate friend
Thanks for putting up with me
Thanks for staying by my side
Even when I feel so far from worthy
Thank you for not judging me
and my mistakes
Thank you for giving me
Unlimited second chances
Seriously who does that
Thank you for being You
For patiently trying to connect
with all your friends
in so many ways and shapes and forms
like hey if a letter doesn't work
maybe a text will
or maybe sending another friend
to speak on your behalf
Anyway you're really special
and I'll try to do better at appreciating
our friendship
and checking in
and asking how you're doing
it must be a lot
to have the weight of
all of existence
on your shoulders.

I love you
with all of my very small
(and very imperfect) heart
Kalindi (my name in this life; I'm sure you know me by many other names that I've forgotten)

Kalindi Dinoffer grew up in a Bhakti yoga community and has been writing poetry since she was a young girl. Kalindi is trained in mindfulness and mindful self-compassion, sharing on her blog MindfulKalindi.com. She is also a yoga instructor and is trained in reiki, and myofascial release therapy as well. Kalindi played competitive tennis growing up and graduated summa cum laude from Southern Methodist University and now serves as Chief Marketing Officer for her family business OnCourtOffCourt.com, a leading supplier of tennis, pickleball, fitness and yoga training aids and equipment. Kalindi has been published in leading magazines and conducted workshops at conferences around the world. In her spare time, Kalindi enjoys reading and writing of course as well as activities such as tennis, ping pong, hiking and biking.

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