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SINGING IN THE RAIN by Tadiya Dasi



My name is Tadiya Dasi, and I've been on the path of bhakti yoga since I was seventeen....

 I am 28 years old now. This poem came to me one morning, as I was rushing to work and it was raining, and I felt a million miles from my Guru and from God, too. Nothing in that grey morning felt inspiring or spiritual but as I was walking on the street suddenly this sweet feeling of wanting to sing God's Name came to me. 

Later, wanting to capture that feeling, I wrote this poem. It's also about my spiritual path in general, my journey from despair to hope and faith. It's also about my teacher, about nature as guru, and ultimately about God's love.

Thank you for providing us this beautiful forum in which to share our poems, Krishna Kanta dasi!


Singing in the Rain
by Tadiya Dasi

My feelings are dripping like London's rain
always and everyday

I have no umbrella, no shield
no shelter from the seasons of my mind
yet

your Name appears on my mind
between thoughts it comes and beckons: Sing!

My lips move
my hands are restless ; I feel like
finding a harmonium
and sitting down, here, 
in the middle of this city street
and sing your Name

although it rains and I am late for work

I forget also that I don't know how to sing
or even play
but you have called and I must sit down

Sit down
and let myself be taken

or rather
let the Sound guide me to your feet
to that sweet place
where I feel your will
becoming mine
and my mind bows down
empties itself out of respect
and Real life comes rushing in

I draw a sharp breath in,
suddenly breathless and a little lost
in this arena of love

the Name turns this city street boundless
I lose  the sense of my own weight
weighing me down

light on my feet,
a little dizzy with disbelief: 
could it truly be
eternity appearing in this moment, 
peeking through like a sun ray
in my clouded mind?

your mercy raining down on me

suddenly all possibilities circle me,
I see so many ways to see you
to love you

that my heart feels heavy
there's a rain torrent rushing to
my parched mouth
someone lifts up a cup – says:
 Drink up my dear.
I feel like I'm dripping in Amrit.

And I beg my heart to choose this
again and again

Remember this, I whisper to myself
and never forget
and go back to the unreal

I've lived so small
such restriction I have accepted as my state of being
such narrow paths I have pursued

My guide appears
I am in his gaze:
his eyes falling on me
like grace

I want to tell him: from you
I catch phrases like angels
that come
and rescue me
when I forget

I forget often
but you remember me
and  then I'm with you

Rooftops, I think, 
I need to yell this from  the rooftops
this love
this love, so magnificent
that

my plans recede to the background
I start asking, instead:
Where do you want me to go?
I start to see him, my teacher,  everywhere

I catch him in a stranger's eye that sparkles
I feel his tender presence as
I look and see the trees bowing
as the wind rushes past me

Hope starts chasing me everywhere,
like the green grass 
peeking through the concrete:
I start to trust the possibility of faith

the world of faith
taking over; 
where the trees talk and the grass bows

the Name comes and beckons me to sing
so I can hold this space
where nature has kindly reminded me
of you; missing you
is now
what fills me.

My affection for you is like this:
it's fresh grass and pastures
a cow's soft eyes
tender udders dripping with milk

I've seen affection like this before;
somewhere in pictures
i've seen you feel it too

and it's been like this,
love passed on
from one to another
such is the grace of the saints
past and present
but not gone
always soundly here

If love had come
earlier
I would have  denied it
so determined in my destruction

but love came, now
when I'm older but younger
holding less
receiving more

Faith giving herself to me
 like a gift from God.
Life is bigger  now on this faith road;
even I am bigger

my Joy sizing up with my Sad
and I am well;
a well
of feelings
for God.



Tadiya dasi is a bhakti yogini who has always loved to write and read. Mostly she has read about religions, both as a student of Religious studies in university as well as a student of the Divine studying the Bhakti-scriptures such as the Bhagavad Gita and the Bhagavata Purana. She writes mostly for her own pleasure, for self-reflection and creativity. Recently, she has begun to give lectures on bhakti yoga. Her favorite place to practice bhakti yoga is in one of her teacher's ashrams, surrounded by beautiful nature and lots of cows. She, though, lives mostly in Helsinki, the capital city of Finland. Her inspiration to write and to share bhakti comes from her teacher Swami Tripurari. You can email Tadiya at tadiyadasi@yahoo.com

~If you are interested in seeing your poetry appear in this blog, or submitting a poem by a woman that has inspired you, please click here for submission guidelines. I greatly look forward to hearing from you!~ 

Comments

  1. Thank you dear Tadiya, for this very sweet and personal, heartfelt offering, where you give the readers a glimpse into your devotional heart and the relationship it has with your spiritual teacher. I have always felt that perhaps there is nothing that moves us in such powerful ways in this world than the loving relationships we have with others. Those relationships touch us so deeply when they penetrate our hearts and inspire our spirit, as your teacher has with you. Thank you again for sharing. I hope you return and share more of your lovely poems in the future!

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  2. Thank you for sharing this piece. The beauty of calling the name of God, while rain pours, fills my heart. Knowing it is in this place of torrential downpour, He answers. He sends a ray of sunlight through the clouds. Seeing your teacher in the eyes of a stranger reminds me to look for God in the face of everyone. Let's see where He shows up next. God bless you, abundantly with His love.

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