WHEN EVEN GOD ASKS QUESTIONS by Tadiya Dasi

This poem came as I was wondering at something my teacher had said in one of his recent lectures…

My teacher said that we shouldn't be afraid to approach the guru with all of our questions. In fact, we should come to the guru and "sit and doubt."  I found this attitude so wonderful and freeing. There is so much space and humility, and room for growth in asking questions. In thinking that you have all the answers if you have read a religious book or follow a certain philosophy is very limiting and, frankly, boring. 

The bhakti tradition of Caitanya has an unique theological position that claims that even God doubts himself and asks questions about the nature love and that was the inspiration behind this poem as well.

When Even God Asks Questions

I take a few deep thoughts and question this discussing philosophy and religion

If the answers we have always remain the same

and in their solidness become 

Books and Opinions and Facts

 and despite all the answers

all the schooling

all the Knowing

each heart, at the bottom, still a big question mark

at the core of living beings this big WHY

that keeps us moving

I wonder: Why are we so in love with the answers

when it is the questions that we secretly love

and run away with?

Even when with answers comes the safety of Sureness

we all long for the adventures that

only a good question can lead us to

In a world with too little questions

and too many answers

we have become boring

Don't you realize:

If you have the same answer to every question

there is neither any questions

nor any answers

Trust this: Reality can be questioned, it has a bend to it

in fact

you can ask the Real

the same question a million times

and everytime, you are given a new answer

the more you ask, the more you will have to wonder at

such is Reality, The Beautiful

it loves a curious heart and holds it close

It is Illusion that struggles in it's own web

so easily weaved

yet so deceitful in its knowingness

Knowledge is a living thing

Reality a person wishing to whisper his secrets

into your ear

so come near, and sit

listen and lean in closer: doubt.

If you think you can capture God

between your ears

hold the Infinite in such a tiny headspace

you will be left sitting alone with your mind

and we all know what a drag that is, most likely

you'll make yourself crazy like that

There is no measuring of the Real

it stretches itself unto Infinity

like the pastures of Vraja and Nanda's herd of cows

in the playground of Consciousness

try to swallow this and you can see the whole universe in the mouth of a child

They say after all, From the mouth of the Babes comes Truth

All this wonder is yours if you look at the Real

with eyes of love and embrace the Truth with your whole being

like a mother

Remember:

A mindful of God is not enough.

Doctrination is not bliss.

The village of God is for the doubters.

The knowing of Love always a puzzle and a paradox.

Bhakti means to be always full of wonder

to always have questions about the nature of Love:

Does he love me?

Does she love me?

never knowing the fullness of love

as the Full keeps on fullfilling

and to be near the Full

is to be permanently empty:

for the joy of giving

is always

so much more than in getting

even God, the Receiver, knows this

and in secret becomes a Giver. Ours is a god of love

who wonders: Am I really the connoisseur of Love?

And what came from this question?

From the Beloved asking questions about the Lover?

Nothing less than a big bang of consciousness.

A golden Moon rising on the horizon

of ignorance. God in search of himself

turns the whole world upside down:

the Moon in the darkness of doubt

in the orbit of love in separation

suddenly outshines the Sun in it's brilliance

those who are looking, will be given the Light to see

In the stories of Consciousness

asking questions

the teachers sing lovesongs to the Divine

and the students run barefoot away from their gurus and parents,

from the schools to the jungles of passionate love

in this play the illumined Preceptor is falling on his knees

in search of  the Dark Fool of Love

such is the radiant power of being a Seeker

instead of a Knower.

The pull of a heart

given into a Question becomes limitless and open:

So doubt and let your questions fill you up

let your search for answers

make your heart soft, quivering and questioning

soon, you'll be running barefoot into the Forest, too

a fool for Love

loving the questions

and If you're still not convinced and want to hang onto

what you know

ask yourself this:

When even God asks questions,

who can claim to have The Answer?

Tadiya dasi is a bhakti yogini who has always loved to write and read. Mostly she has read about religions, both as a student of Religious studies in university as well as a student of the Divine studying the Bhakti-scriptures such as the Bhagavad Gita and the Bhagavata Purana. She writes mostly for her own pleasure, for self-reflection and creativity. Recently, she has begun to give lectures on bhakti yoga. Her favorite place to practice bhakti yoga is in one of her teacher's ashrams, surrounded by beautiful nature and lots of cows. She, though, lives mostly in Helsinki, the capital city of Finland. Her inspiration to write and to share bhakti comes from her teacher Swami Tripurari. You can email Tadiya at tadiyadasi@yahoo.com

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