I had just finished my final teach for my 200 hour YTT and was given generous kudos on the class...
It was November first the Mexican holiday Dia de Muertos, but I had no knowledge of this and yet I intuited an inclusion of honoring all who came before in my opening. Within minutes however, I was informed that the quality of my written final exam had been below par and I that would receive a diploma pending a re-do.
My teachers felt disrespected by my not having given full effort. OUCH! I had worked on surrendering in humility to the ego's demands over the 7 months. I even metaphorically washed their feet. But there I stood facing my inner demons and fear of failure. Where did I take this pain? To the page....
Tombstone Offering by Katarina Silva |
Hallowing the Day of the Dead
by Anita Brown
heart wails
bounce off dingy, urine-scented walls
spiders scrutinize and hold vigil
as I lie prone
bowels twist like fishtail braid
darkness arriving to shroud and
eclipse my soul
despair
building
momentum
resolutely the will
to feel-
shame mostly, demands
attention
anger cloaked in blame
masquerading itself
disguised and unrecognizable
corner of veil lifts
anarchy commences
malevolent, restless ones threaten insemination
barrenness echoes a prayer:
"impregnate from the enchanted souls lying beneath the earth!"
YOU, the Christ!
Enter and shed eternal light
I choose to carry your salvation
In all its Crowning glory
I choose resurrection and hope
I choose love
I choose
LIFE,
Anita Brown is a content mother of two teenagers and wife of 20 years, both of which she is grateful for every day. She began writing poetry in the fall of 2012 after a mini-breakdown cracked open her heart and allowed this newly found gift to shine through. Many months later, she is realizing the truth in the saying that ‘breakdown equals spiritual awakening’ as she is pleasantly shocked at how much more peace she has in her spirit and how that is reflected in her life. Anita loves yoga, dancing, traveling, cooking, walking her golden Sierra, and quiet evenings at home. She especially enjoys teaching meditation to under-served communities and listening to others as they express the same joy at the transformation occurring from such simple but regular practice.
~If you are interested in seeing your poetry appear in this blog, or submitting a poem by a woman that has inspired you, please click here for submission guidelines. I greatly look forward to hearing from you!~
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